Blog Archives
Let The Right One In: A Review
This week we are talking vampires. Okay, not sparkly vampire, but we’ve got a love story…it’s just not what you think.
Let The Right One In (2008) is the story of Oskar, a 12-year old boy in a small village, who is tormented by Conny and his minions every day. Oskar fantasizes about getting his revenge one day, but his fear keeps him from fighting back. The bullies are awful little children. Oskar even has a knife he dreams of using to kill them.
Everything changes for Oskar once he has a few chance meetings with the new girl in the apartment next to his, Eli. She is an odd girl who can solve a Rubik’s Cube on command, and her “father” covers the windows of the apartment. Oskar and Eli begin to be friends, despite Eli telling Oskar that they can’t be friends. Once Eli has moved in to town, there begins a series of murders that keeps everyone in town on edge.
Eli is, of course, a vampire. Her “father” is quickly revealed to the viewer as the murderer, collecting the blood from the victims for Eli to drink. He is getting old though, and sloppy. His age has caught up to him and Eli begins doing her own killing, leaving witnesses, and even a poor woman who is not killed at feeding, turning her in to a vampire.
original exhibits more restraint with the blood. I guess Americans just need it bloodier.
I don’t want to give too much away, don’t want to spoil too much. This film is less about vampires and more about a coming-of-age tale of Oskar finding his confidence and the girl who helps him do so. He loves her, though it is never truly spoken. They see one another at night, a long time passes before he discovers her vampirism. The film centers around Oskar and Eli. Lore of vampires is never gone in to too deeply, except when it naturally comes about. I love that this film does not explain to death all the ins and outs of being a vampire.
From the respect of filmmaking, I think this is brilliantly done. The tone of the film matches the pace and mood of the script. Music is sparsely used, almost zero. When it is used, it doesn’t foreshadow action, which often times ruins a scene and can even distract from what is going on. I love the restraint in the music. The cinematography is great with creepy panning shots, wide shots of scenes, and the lighting in most interior scenes is terrifying. There is none of the clichéd shadow shots and over dramatic lighting effects. This film doesn’t try too hard, which avoids the caricature that vampires often fall victim to in cinema: Twilight, Daybreakers, Blade, The Lost Boys, et al.
As for any contrasts from the US and Scandinavian versions, there are a few, and they are pretty stark.
For those that don’t enjoy dubbed audio or reading subtitles, there is the very good (if not superior) Let Me In (2010). Same premise with some differences. Same bullied 12-year old (Owen) and the same 12-year old vampire (Abby). There are some structural differences though. For frame of reference, the setting’s year is vaguely placed during the Reagan administration, placing it in the eighties. The Scandinavian version feels more late 70′s to early eighties, but as far as I could tell there was no clearer frame of reference than clothing, cassette player, and the 45 record player.
Outside of potential timeframe differences are location, but this is a moot point. The settings are the same in their rural nature and cold climate.
The opening scene of the US version is the ambulance occupied by a man who is suspected of murder being rushed to the hospital to treat self-inflicted chemical burns. The original opens on Oskar in his room, and the snow falling. Basically, the US version starts in the middle, and then back tracks with the tired “Two Weeks Earlier” device. This is probably to get the viewer hooked because US audiences, in my opinion, are not as patient as foreign viewers seem to be, based on the structure of their films.
Another huge difference is that there is a detective investigating the man in the ambulance and the series of murders in the area, even after his death. This character does not exist in any manner in the original. There is this whole device of the nosey detective just doing his job that is only partly existent in the original in the form of a concerned friend of a murdered victim.
Among other differences is the complete absence of anyone near the role of Virginia. In the original, Virgina is turned by Eli during an interrupted feeding. This character’s equal is completely absent from the US version, for better or worse. I am not quite convinced either way.
The US film ends the same, starts differently, explores much the same lore and character development (though totally void of the distracting relationship with Owen’s father that Oskar has).
that's a lot of blood, US version
They are different films because of the devices that are used to advance the story in either version. There is more music, foreshadowing, and more gore in the violence in the US version. Much as US versions will do, there is a bit too much detail for the viewer when the foreign version shows restraint in certain ways. Yes, there is violence and a bloody-mouthed 12-year old girl in both versions, and other scenes of blood and murder, but I just felt that the original used this device sparingly, which made the sight of the gore that much more disturbing.
Is one better than the other? I don’t think so. The foreign version used a slower and quieter manner of telling a truly horrifying story that gets under my skin and leaves me with mixed emotions at the end. The US version has the detective I get to like a bit, and creates a bit more tension of being “found out”, but there isn’t anything more in the US version than the original, it’s just different. I say watch them both. I saw Let Me In before I saw Let The Right One In, and what struck me about both films was the basics: The fascinating story, the focus less on defining lore (and Eli’s past), and leaving the focus on the relationship of Oskar/Eli-Owen/Abby.
If you are a horror fan then this is a definite watch. I was riveted through both films, and the very subtle music let the scenes really speak for themselves instead of knowing how you should feel at any moment based on the sound design. I loved these films. There is no list of truths of vampires, but what is true about Eli/Abby is revealed naturally through the film. Neither will spell things out too clearly, though the US version clubs you over the head just a bit more, and uses tired devices to keep you engrossed. Yes, the US version might have taken some queues of subtlety from Let The Right One In, but it’s not distracting. I loved the casting in the US version a bit more than the original, but that is about regional stardom, though the eyes of Eli trump that of Abby, but Abby is a more disturbing character based on her porcelain doll look…maybe this stems from my phobia of creepy kids in films, but you’ll see what I mean. Both vampire girls make my skin crawl, but it is a horror film, after all.
Don’t miss either film. They are both currently streaming on Netflix.
Like this:
Meme Monday #1
I have always had a problem with the anti-gay sentiment that we find in social culture, but the acceptable nature of the gay community as entertainers. We don’t want gays to have equal rights, people hate them, but they populate some of the most popular sections of our culture. I just never got it. Well, here is my first salvo at the anti-gay agenda through feeble attempts at a meme-stream. OK, bare with me, I’ll get better at this. Maybe these aren’t traditional Memes, but this is my first try. At least I get the point across. I hope you get what I’m saying here. I will be working at getting better at this to give you a few of these every Monday.
Like this:
Bachmann Wins in Ames and Yet Still Draws the Short Straw
or: Ron Paul sees his shadow, six more weeks of political futility
What is that rustling in the distance? Wait, no, it’s not a rustle. It sounds more like a bubbling. Yes, I can hear it now. A riling and rolling boil. It pops and hisses like so much scrumptious white noise. It is musical almost. That can only be the sound of deep-fried butter logs which means it’s summer time in Iowa! It is time once again for the Iowa State Fair in Des Moines and a rootin’ tootin’ good time buyin’ up votes in a completely innocuous and non-binding straw poll in the beautifully portly town of rotund Ames, Iowa. There is nothing the people of Iowa love more than to slap on a button, shake a hand, and promise to vote for a candidate in an entirely meaningless exercise in showmanship related to nothing more than a gob-stopping festival of stump speeches, cheap tricks, all washed down with domestic beer and mediocre barbecue. The straw poll in Iowa brought us a winner, as all superfluous polls do, and her name is Michelle Bachmann. Now before we go crowning her queen and sacrificing goats on an altar before a marble statue of her likeness, just remember that this win has no bearing on anything except her popularity in a right-wing, evangelical state, in which anyone with her kind of crazy eyes can win. Oh, and did I mention she grew up there? Maybe that played a role, but we’ll see.
- and apparently the courage to sit down, too
Yes, the Ames straw poll has come and gone and now we are left with the results. What can we take from our little stint in Iowa this weekend? Well, besides the need for a really good cardiologist, I think we can see that this GOP race has a few clear front-runners for the nomination. Real quick, hats off to the withdrawal of “candidate” Tim Pawlenty. Not a shocker. The man looks like he should be selling vacuum cleaners door to door in Post-war, suburban America. We owe China a lot of money, and we need a president that looks like he won’t get rolled between classes in the boys’ room and cough it up like a pansy. OK, now that we have bid ado to that, back to Michelle. What a massive win for her campaign. This is the kind of win you can only hope to get in a scenario you darest not dream in a million sleeps. I must say that this gives her great traction in future stops in Iowa and on through to the caucus and eventually the primaries…oh, who am I kidding, it’s fucking Iowa.
No one gives a shit about the straw poll. Rick Perry got over 700 write-in votes and he wasn’t even really present. People are already talking that Romney can crush her for the nomination and that Rick Perry can crush even him. If all indicators are pointing in the right direction, then this is the last thing Michelle Bachmann is gonna win. Seriously, there isn’t even a scratch-it ticket in her future. The straw poll is just a giant popularity contest/barbecue where voters promise to vote for the candidate in the poll if they will pay the $30 entrance fee to get in on the party. That’s it. It is a popularity contest highlighted by celebrity appearances, air-conditioned tents, and other flashy bullshit to just show the patrons a good time. It has no bearing on anything except that Iowans can be bought for $30, and if that is by the pound then by the looks of some of those guys corn-holing butter logs by the pair, these people are the cheapest Americans you can buy per pound. Not like Nebraska folk, they’ve got Omaha steaks, motherfucker.
So Michelle paid off some good, honest, hard-working, God-fearing, Americans that are tired of Washington getting it’s hands in their lives and pocketbooks, who just want to stick by the constitution as the founding fathers would want, and to raise their children with good values and stop passing all this debt on to them, and end this terrible, job-killing Obamacare which is ruining the economy…Wait, what happened? I blacked out there for a second. Did I cover all the talking points? Oh good, I thought I was having a stroke. No wonder she’s got the crazy eyes, if I had to repeat that same bullshit in every speech, every day, for the last 48 days since entering the race I’d probably start to look like I was trying to keep my tongue from leaping out of my head to kill itself.
This was the Iowa straw poll, and it means everything in that it means everything if we change the meaning of everything to nothing. I mean, the only person who could draw 28% of the non-official popularity vote would have to be destined for the White House in 2012 or would have to…I don’t know, ummmmm, be from Iowa? Well, in a crafty political move Michelle Bachmann happens to be from Waterloo, Iowa. Trust me, she won’t let you forget that she’s from Waterloo. She won’t even let the people of Waterloo fucking forget that she’s from Waterloo. Well, her and John Wayne…Gacy. Oops, thought I forgot about that didn’t ya, Bachmann!? Yes, in a shocking turn of events, a right-wing Lutheran wife of a man who can pray the gay out of homosexual deviants with five kids and a hard-on for the constitution in it’s founding fathers form (still not clear if that is founding fathers pre or post abolition) was able to clutch victory from the gaping maw of defeat and take this win back to Waterloo to rub in the face of the small town diner waitress who teased her in high school…that is what she did it for, right?
All this hullaballoo aside, this is simply a moral victory in a battle that featured candidates that didn’t really differ morally. Ron Paul is crazy, he doesn’t count. Ron Paul is like the Bob Dole of the Ross Perot of the Rumpelstiltskin of the GOP race; he is loud, funny, weird, and will do nothing but mess things up and steal votes from a legitimate candidate, no matter the fact that he is just awesome. Pawlenty? About as offensive as a silent fart in an elevator. Romney? Barely tried. Herman Cain? I think he served pizza and only handed out three-fold napkins. Santorum? Alright, ya know what, I’m just getting annoyed that this guy is still around with a name like that. So who was she really facing? Perry was a write-in. He is bypassing the whole thing deciding to worry about getting the votes for the GOP nomination. Another Texan, a major job-creator, and shoulders square enough to measure a contracting job by? I hear the GOP saying “yes, please.”
Bachmann is this year’s Palin, even though Palin still seems to be this year’s Palin. Her damned bus tour got rolling just in time to arrive in Des Moines to see the historic Ferris Wheel which in 1778 road through town for…ah, fuck it, she’s stupid, we get it, I’m tired of making jokes. If Palin jumps in then Bachmann looks like some kind of Wal-Mart knock-off of the Palin-brand K-Mart crazy. Bachmann is just not up to the task of taking on Perry with his billion-dollar buddies on one front, and Palin and her Alaska reality show of a family on the other side. Shit, Perry is like a 20+ term sitting official and Palin’s daughter is more famous than Bachmann is, so it really is no contest. Perry has the clout, experience, and the chiseled jaw line to take the nomination, which is the real prize, unlike the straw poll which is like getting voted most-likely to “go places” in your high school yearbook. Romney can’t win with Romneycare and his being…ya, know…a mormon. Perry is gonna run away with this thing, but that’s just the nomination, the general election is an article for another time.
Bachmann shoots down the argument that she doesn’t have the experience to be President by talking about having been alive fifty-five years. If that is a qualifier then that makes me exactly half as qualified as you to run this country, which even I know isn’t the case. She also explains that raising five children and 23 foster kids is qualification enough and being married for 30+ years is icing on the cake. Being married? Raising children? These are qualifiers for being president? I know people with five kids, but that’s because they are stupid and made the same mistake five times. What’s your excuse? She also totes her tax law education and her years as a tax attorney. She worked for the IRS. I doubt she’ll ever get that specific since leaving it at “tax law” doesn’t bring about the same bristle and zeal as being associated with the only government office that even the fucking DMV looks down on. Her experience is in question and she sites that she and her husband have been running a business successfully for years. What business is that? A mental health facility. Well, technically it’s Bachmann & Associates Christian Counseling Practice…where the Bachmanns deny that any conversion therapy for homosexual behavior goes on…even though it does, according to a former patient and some hidden camera footage. Hell, video evidence is never admissible in court, so you can’t believe that…oh, wait…
So, what has Iowa left us with? Indigestion for one and political nausea for the other. It was all an absolute waste of time and money and has no bearing on the election whatsoever, except that Pawlenty bowed out sooner than he would have and later than he should have. Bachmann gets a win in her own backyard and no one is fucking surprised at that. It was tents, cheap thrills, and even a petting zoo for the kids. Wait, why was there a petting zoo? Are Iowan adults swayed by a petting zoo? Are ponies conservative? I know it’s a big agricultural state, but these people don’t actually think the presence of farm animals is any indicator of a good leader, right? I mean, the ponies aren’t in attendance to show support. They are locked in a corral and get fed sugar cubes and then loaded up and shipped off to the next embarrassing chapter of their spectacle of a life. Seriously, if anything you should be offended that she’s locking up these stupid-looking animals. A pony? It is an evolutionary dead end. In nature that would be weeded out after generation of horses raping them. Well, at least the ponies are getting work, and that’s Bachmann coming through on her promise to create new jobs.
This is all like a soap box derby race. A bunch of hastily assembled and ill-conceived mobile platforms rolling downhill on nothing but momentum driven by people hoping it carries them through to the finish line. Well, it doesn’t. Historically the winner of the straw pole doesn’t make it to the White House. Last time around good ol’ Huckabee was your winner of the straw poll…how did that turn out again? Huckabee was at the straw poll this year, but this time on his guitar getting paid for a couple shows. He’s the only one that came out of top of this thing.
The straw poll feels a lot like Groundhog’s Day. Not that I feel like I am repeating the same horrendously annoying day of my life over and over again for no clearly defined reason (how was there not a gypsy or something that cursed him or some grave he disturbed or something!? Why did Bill Murray keep reliving that day!? Explain it to me!) until I get it right, but that it’s an archaic ritual synonymous with folklore and steeped in tradition whose outcome has no bearing on anything that will happen in the next six weeks. When I picture Iowans as groundhogs, I don’t seem to loathe their fat faces quite as much. Just like that we’ll all forget about the city of Ames, until the next straw poll when they shove their deep-fried mayonnaise cones into my political machine and muss up all the perfectly rusty gears to the tune of three-cents per Hawkeye pound. Fuckin’ Iowans.
Toe-tapping to TwitPics: I’ll Take Immoral Over Criminal Any Day of the Week
I am betting you people were wondering where the Poppyc**k staff was while this Anthony Weiner Twitter scandal was unfolding. We were seemingly missing in action while a story with more punchlines than a Bill Hicks stand-up special was splashed in headline, bold-type on every newspaper and magazine in the country. Well, we just didn’t think we could make any jokes you hadn’t already heard. Honestly, this story is a comedian’s wet dream, so we left it to the comedy professionals…and FOX News. Now, in the glowing aftermath of the “junk drawers” photo, along with all the other photos, we have but two things to comment on in the proceeding article. One: Is anyone else expecting to see Anthony Weiner on the cover of Men’s Health this summer? Shit, this guy’s built like a Navy Seal and John Holmes had a love-child. Two (and most importantly): What the fuck did he do wrong to have to resign? I mean, what did he REALLY do?
Yes, it is going to be one of those articles. This will be a piece brimming with advocacy for the devil and perspective granting examples that are designed to show you that there is a very fine line between illegal and immoral, and whether we have the right to hold a government official to a higher ethical standard based on some archaic social construct of the majority’s expectations. Who are we to expect puritanical moral fortitude in our elected officials? We have this deranged expectation, or maybe a belief in the acutely designed facade, that we are electing some kind of moral pillar above the fallibility of the “common man.” It’s time we got off our soapbox and took off the beer goggles. These are not deities or divinely designed eunuchs cut from a cloth of moral superiority. These are people, and most of the scandals, including Weiner, have nothing to do with legal ramifications. These were just skeezy dudes, and I for one don’t mind.
I don’t mind a pervy government official. I want a human being as my representative. Someone with a foot fetish and something terrifyingly kinky under lock and key next to the gun lock box on the top-shelf of his bedroom closet. Give me a guy with a skeleton or two shoved in a crawl space at his summer home in Palm Beach over a squeaky clean tight-wad any day. I want an average Joe to keep my best interests at heart. A man who knows the legal quagmire of keeping a gimp in a box, or knows the stress of having to constantly be erasing your browsing history because your girlfriend would be horrified at what gets you off. A guy that knows the importance of establishing a safety word before letting his wife shove a ball-gag in his mouth. A guy from Anytown, USA. You know, like the rest of us.
Beyond the Weiner scandal, dubbed the Twitter scandal, there are more “sicko” incidents than I can count. How about the “toe-tapping” scandal in the Minneapolis-St. Paul Airport perpetrated by Larry Craig? Plead guilty to one count of disorderly conduct and paid a fine, but not before stepping down. Maybe you remember the “shirtless Senator,” Chris Lee (pictured left). Sent a woman a picture of himself, shirtless, after responding to a personal ad on Craigslist. How about the audacity of Mark Samford, who disappeared over Father’s Day weekend to meet his mistress in Argentina, under the guise that he was hiking the Appalachian Trail. He didn’t step down, but then again his term limit was up and it was really a non-issue to impeach him since he was almost out anyway. Then there is Louisiana Senator David Vitter (pictured below), who admits to frequenting prostitutes through the high-class service, “DC Madam.” He too has yet to step down, as of writing this article.
What was so wrong about these things? Larry Craig broke the law, sort of. Disorderly conduct for trying to get some gay sex in an airport? Skeezy? Yes. Illegal? Barely. Vitter used prostitutes, but it’s hardly a criminal offense; more the crime of a lonely man. The rest did nothing more than go outside the sanctity of their marriage. Extra-marital affairs are not illegal. Technically, yes, there are still laws on the books, but the Supreme Court overruled them in a case many years ago, so it’s not technically illegal. Are these incidents a sign of a moral vacuum in these men? I don’t think you can jump right from “stupid” to “criminal” in one connection. At best it would be more of a “six degrees of Kevin Bacon” sort of situation. If there is a moral flexibility in these men, I don’t think it caused by any kink they may have. These are mutually exclusive issues and any moral flexibility they have was brought to light by one fact: they’re fucking career politicians. You gotta check to make sure you’ve still got all of your fingers after you shake their hand.
Why do we as a country get so up in arms over these incidents? Why must we call to hang ‘em high and to end their careers? I am sure the unemployment rate would sky rocket to sixty-percent in this country if everyone who ever sent a topless photo of themselves was fired from their current job because of some social contract stating that digital buggery is criminal. You’d have a hell of a time finding a trainer at your local gym.
Scandals like this are nothing more than an assault on an archaic idea that our representatives are not just stewards of the law and justice pertaining to the betterment of society, but that they are stewards of a puritanical moral fabric we possess as a nation. I don’t get how a senator, mayor, governor, or any other elected official, is expected to live by a higher moral code than the rest of us. Frankly, I don’t trust anyone that thinks that they do occupy the higher road in a moral sense. I don’t trust someone to be fair and honest if they snub their nose at the rest of the world because they are not “perverted” like these men. Can you trust someone who think you are less than them? Could you really hope to elect your representative if they look down on you as some townsperson of Sodom and Gammorah?
We need to just get over ourselves. We live in a world where a moral line is not in stone or in sand, but is perpetually nomadic . Given enough pressure we can justify almost any action as a nation, but in moments like this we take this stand that what Weiner did was wrong. Based on what? He never banged any of the girls he “sexted” or sent pictures to. He didn’t break any laws, embezzle money, trade votes, or take bribes (remember Rod Blegojavich?). By all other accounts he was a decent official. OK, I’ll give you the point that it wasn’t what a married man should do. But if you’re gonna throw sanctity of marriage around, then I am gonna hold you to the complete idea of the statement and require you to call for the resignation of anyone who has had an affair or has been divorced before, or during, any seat of official capacity. Looks like the Republicans will get their wish since government would get a hell of a lot smaller in less than the lunch hour. You’ll have five Senators and we’d be calling in the Janitor to break up a filibuster by Friday.
I am betting you didn’t like that, if you’re one to wave the morality flag high and proud. The government would cease to be if we didn’t allow some leniency in the case of truly moral questions. Since we can’t seem to agree on where the line is on scandals requiring censure and impeachment, I say we make ‘em all sign morality contracts. Yes, if you want your cake and to eat it to, then we need to make every government official elected or otherwise, sign a contract outlining moral and legal behavior that will and will not be tolerated as well as all of the fines and punishments that will go along with each infraction. This way there is a clear and defined manner of conduct that we require of our elected officials. The NFL makes it’s players sign a similar contract and there are fines and suspensions that are levied all the time because of it. Why shouldn’t the government be held to at least the same standards as a professional athlete?
Could you imagine the fall out from this act? For good or bad, we would have our officials dancing to the beat of one painfully boring drum. Divorces, affairs, failure to file or pay taxes, DUI charges, spousal abuse, drunk and disorderly, inappropriate fraternization through texting or emails, lewd photographs, pseudo-racist comments, and we could even test for steroids (I’m looking at you, Weiner). I would go as far as to include taking the Lord’s name in vain in that contract. Let’s design a government so pure and strong of character that we will never see another scandal again. We could start electing an almost superior race of people…wait a minute, that sounds familiar…
Well, if we’re going this far, I am betting that some of you good Christian folk might want to put a clause in the contract the you can’t run for office if you’re gay, since that is immoral and a sin to some of you. Of course we would also include a provision prohibiting sexual intercourse in any position besides “missionary.” Then again, if we’re taking the inch I say we go the whole mile and not elect women, since there are many men that think a woman should be in the kitchen and not on the Senate floor. Then there is the percentage of the population that would want to exclude anyone of non-white heritage to be elected to office. Of course, if we really want to please even smaller groups we might want to make sure those white people have only blue eyes and blonde hair and…wait a minute, now we’re back to that hauntingly familiar tune again…
Guess what folks, fuck you and the high horse you rode in on. You think you can wag a finger at a guy who taps his toe or sends “dirty” photos to a girl? You think you can hold them to some higher level or morality because they are elected to represent the people? Well, I hate to break it to you, but porn doesn’t watch itself, and strip clubs don’t operate as a not-for-profit. Las Vegas is called “sin city,” and prostitution is legal in Nevada. You can get a license to buy and smoke marijuana legally. Gays are in your military, sitting on the hill in DC, and are the stars of your favorite TV shows. This is no puritanical world and I don’t know where you get this sense of superiority, but it has never existed in the way you think it has.
Case in point. The coup de gras illustrating the American’s people apparent tolerance for scandal is provided by just one man: Marion Barry. A former President of the School Board, he was a four-term Mayor. in 1990, during his third-term, he was caught on videotape in a hotel room doing crack cocaine. He was eventually found guilty of only one misdemeanor count of possession and served six-months in federal prison. After being released he immediately ran for city council of the 8th Ward on the slogan, and I am not kidding, “he may not be perfect, but he’s perfect for D.C.” He won. He was then reelected as Mayor of D.C. in 1994. The man had many more troubles including tax issues, an alleged DUI (which he was found not guilty), and driving with a suspended license. This man was a four-term mayor of the capital of the United States of America for fuck sake, but Weiner needs to step down for a cock shot?
So where is the line, folks? Please, I want to know where you draw it in the sand? These are not career ending flubs, just bloopers from “america’s stupidest elected officials,” airing this fall on FOX. If Weiner is guilty of anything it might be animal cruelty, seeing as how he was clearly trying to smother a ferret to death in his jockeys. This is a job for PETA, if nothing else (had to get one in). If the likes of Weiner and Vitter, and the countless others, had signed a contract of moral conduct, then I can see getting up in arms on some level, but no such document exists. We can get one made I bet, if we really wanted it. I would have one stipulation before making them sign it when they take an oath of office: every American needs to sign it first. If we want our officials to be held to some unwavering level of excellence, then we need articulate and follow the standardized moral code we can all agree on. Seems impossible, but it would be a true quid pro quo, like a national abstinence pledge (those work so well already, which is why everyone in public school is a virgin)…and a hush falls over the peanut gallery. If you’re truly on board with that maniacal idea, then please feel free to email your local congressman. I would just avoid using the Twitter though, because some people seem to be doing “gross” things on there.
Look at This F-ing Guy #18
Who corrects politically incorrect labels
I get that you went to sensitivity training when you got your new job at the office. You feel a certain sense that you don’t want to offend people in how you talk about them or to them, and in this lawsuit crazy day of ours who can blame you. I know that you keep your ear to the ground with new terms and categorical labels become the ‘proper’ and ‘respectful’ way to refer to a person or people. I know you don’t make ‘black’ jokes or anti-Semitic comments. You don’t talk about a certain group in mixed company. But that’s not political correctness, that’s simple decorum and tact.
It is one thing for you to feel a certain way and that it is your civic duty and your duty as a fellow human being to treat a group of people with a modicum of respect by referring to them how they want to referred to. The sad thing is, a label is just a label, and no matter what it is, it sucks to be categorized and generalized no matter the title, and your going around and scolding people for their unwillingness to use whatever leftist tree hugging label is ‘in’ right now is not going to change a thing; it’s just going to lose you friends.
Black people are black people. Asians are Asians. Retarded people are retarded people. Midgets will always be midgets…or dwarfs…or maybe tossable people. These are not derogatory terms or terms used to diminish who they are, it’s just what they are called. I hate to drop such a cliche, but ‘a rose by any other name is still a rose.’ You can call them African-Americans if your white guilt makes you need to do so, but my buddy Stephen grew up in Chicago. He’s about as from Africa as I am from Holland, and I sure as shit don’t want to be called Dutch-American. Midgets are short, I don’t know if it is vertically challenged now, or even if fat people are Massive-Americans or self-control challenged. I don’t worry myself with that. An off color remark, joke, or sideways comment is not destructive by it’s very nature unless it was meant to be. I’m White. Being from Oregon I regard the sun as something strange and treat it with the same anxious fear I would a large pink elephant taking a dump in my living room, but if someone called me ‘pigment challenged’ instead of ‘pale’ I would call them ‘retarded,’ not ‘mentally challenged,’ and I would be categorically correct. Get some thicker skin, let the little stuff go, and buy some self-confidence so we can finally live life instead of tip-toeing through the Tulips with people, thumbing through the mental rolodex to remember if ‘Jew’ is appropriate in this context or if ‘Jewish-American’ is even a thing yet. Shit.
