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Put Down the Sticks, The Bush Has Had Enough Already, Guys
Posted by Wes
or: Everyone’s Waiting to See What Obama Does When Santorum Pulls a Newsom
or: No, you go first and then I’ll go first after you. Yeah, I’m totally going, but after you go first and then I go…like five months after you and you’ve already got your foot lodged in your esophagus, and are dead in the water before Iowa, then I’ll totally go
The rumblings are out there in the media. The blogosphere is abuzz with information of those seeking a bid. Everyone is speculating on the odds, the rankings, and who is either a contender or a pretender, as we go forward from here. No, I am not talking about the March Madness and Selection Sunday. I am talking about the possible nominees for the GOP bid for President in 2012. Yes, with a scant 21 months to go before election day, potential GOP nominees are beginning to dip their toes in to the icy waters to possibly, maybe, “forming an exploratory committee to,” make a run at the primaries next year. Though the list is pretty long now, and set to change dramatically as time goes on, there are a handful of interesting candidates; some with a shot, some without, and those that are just rife for skewering on a daily basis. With the field dancing around the issue, on one wanting to be the first cat out of the bag, this is the most fun time to speculate as to the merits of some of the GOP shoe-ins playing coy for the moment, looking to come in a little late when they see that no one else is going to be able to fuck this up as well as they can.
The list is a veritable who’s who, and who is that, of once and future kings. CBS has a list of eleven, but I hereby determine that said list is too long when you look at who will have the staying power to be on the ballot as a GOP candidate, or who can even garner the votes necessary to win the nomination outright. The obvious pretenders are folks like former Godfather’s Pizza CEO Herman Cain; Haley Barbour, who is a self-proclaimed “fat redneck”; Mitch Daniels, who is fiscal enough for the base, burt his stance on social issues and the personality of wet cardboard is what will alienate him from nomination. There is also everyone’s favorite Tea Party Caucus founder, and resident right wing nut job Michelle Bachmann who is basically the poor man’s Sarah Palin, but she is our favorite for her complete inability to look directly in to a camera; her face goes all nazi-arc of the covenant if she does. Jon Huntsman might be the guy to give Obama a run in a general election seeing as he has worked with the administration and his pro-business/socially moderate views might play well overall, it’s a tough road to hoe if he wants to get the GOP go ahead as a Mormon and too liberal for the right’s taste. Gary Johnson and Ron Paul are kind of the same guy in the scope of voting. They would only take votes from one another, and ol’ Gary is a “whack job” Libertarian in the eyes of the GOP, he would have to run Independent if he had any shot at staying on a Presidential ballot to the tune of 8%.
The contenders are not the most likely to get the nomination by any stretch. I list all of these people as possible GOP nominees because of their past work, their appeal, their built-in base of supporters, and the fact that they are household names already, without having spent a dime for the election. They are: Newt Gingrich, Rudy Giuliani, Mike Huckabee, Sarah Palin, Tim Pawlenty, and Mitt Romney. These are the insidious six that have juked and shaken their way around the question of running in the past few weeks yet never said anything remotely like a no for the answer. I like a lot of these people, for a myriad and vast reaching number of reasons, but I find it odd that not one of them will take a stand against the President they seem to think is taking this country in a full gallop toward the End of Days. Each has a laundry list of issues and has just as long a list of qualities I might even want in a President, and all of them have a better than decent shot at getting the nomination, which is the most important first step in running and the topic of this commentary.
Let’s break ‘em down, shall we, in no particular order.
Mike Huckabee
The Huck! Join the HuckPack! Oh, the soft and gentle truncheon of the GOP arm of the government. This little guy has some years behind him and a failed GOP nomination run where he finished second to, of course, John Mccain. He was Arkansas governor from ‘96-’07 and did some interesting things there that I might venture left the state in good hands when he exited the position. Huck is a former pastor as well, which will resonate in the bible belt and beyond. He plays bass guitar in a “rock” band, Capitol Offense (what a good name) and has even headlined the House of Blues in New Orleans and opened for the likes of Willie Nelson.
Huck of course has Huckabee, a program on FOX News (you’ll be hearing that a bit) as well as a radio show and is promoting his recent book on a 43 city tour called A Simple Government. In and around his words on the book he is basically saying that this is his plan, this book is his blueprint with which he plans to move forward and campaign on. He has the media savvy, the chops, and the proven ability to make the GOP run, given there is no one better (also a theme here).
What does the Huck stand for? Well he is all about cutting spending, reducing costs, possibly breaking down public employee unions, and transferring a lot of the power back to the states in a nod back to Jefferson; he does like those Bush tax cuts though. He wants states to be allowed to experiment with self-governing and be able to keep the money from the people in their states, not deal with the minutia of federal mandates, and hold everyone accountable. His is not as vocal on social issues as he is on political issues. It is wise on his part to really avoid this kind of talk, to a point, being that the GOP is a bit in flux as the spectrum of left leaning conservatives widens.
The Huck is probably my favorite Conservative for the tone he keeps. Like Mister Rogers went to Washington, he has the most soothing way of spelling out some truly horrifying social and political views that would honestly keep me up at night sometimes. “Well hello there, neighbor. Today in the Neighborhood of Make-Believe let’s pretend that Curious X the Owl is proposing an end to the Bush Tax Cuts. Of course, King Friday XII has an issue with that since his personal wealth far exceeds the provision of homes over $250,000 in income. All the while our good friend Trolley has been taken off the tracks and replaced by an all-electric public transportation system bought with frivolous public works money that came from a big-government stimulus package which is not even doing what it is supposed to, and is crippling the lives of our yet unborn children. Can you all say TORT reform? Let’s see how the king is going to respond to liberal Curious X’s proposal…” Indeed.
He has the ability to defend himself and his statements while still being able to get his real message out; this will be crucial in a campaign. I can see he really does want to be able to honestly answer a question most of the time, but he plays the game well of giving the right answers, and this does make me a little suspect of him if we gave him the Presidency. Liberals are always more tolerant of a candidate telling the truth even if it might rub some people the wrong way; we respect brash honesty, just look at Barney Frank.
Mike is a nice guy, I’d like to meet him and have a sit over dinner. Speaking of diet, the man is a proponent of a healthier America, he also wrote a book about that, after being diagnosed with Type II Diabetes; he did an amazing job of equating obesity with a crisis of national security on Fox News Sunday, which was a very impressive misdirect on his part to get back to a hot button issue. He runs marathons, hunts, fishes, and has numerous awards from magazines like Time, Governing Magazine, and Outdoor Life. I know, they all give awards and they’ve all given one to him, cool, right? Mike has the conservative line to pull in the nomination, the safe bet for the party to not get embarrassed by comments by him, while he represents them well, but the safe bet might not be the right bet right now; you might need a pitbull…with lipstick.
Sarah Palin
Where to begin? You know me, I write about this woman often and think her ridiculous on the level of something out of a horror b-movie; “oh c’mon, you can totally see the zipper on the back of the monster,” and that is why I like watching those flicks; they’re just unapologetically bad which makes them so good.
Let’s not kid ourselves, this woman has been campaigning for the GOP nomination and presidency ever since McCain conceded to Obama in 2008. Every single moment on Fox or any other network has been about “the American people” and “no-nonsense politics” and my favorite “heading down the wrong path,” like there are only trails in the forrest we’re not allowed to stray from; God forbid a country about 230 years old go bushwhacking to see if something interesting might work.
Palin has the GOP sex appeal vote by the balls. That is one folksy hockey mom everyone on both sides of the aisle would not mind tagging. Let’s not kid ourselves, she’s hot in that way your childhood buddy Timmy’s mom made you feel funny in your pants; she’s just appealing in a way you can’t articulate yet. That’s where the buck stops with me and most sane folks though. She has Bachmann beat on the front of Tea Party support yet she has managed to keep from tying herself to them synonymously. Palin has always found an outlet for her vague message and family values in the time since her campaign as VP and she is still on the tip of everyone’s tongue if you asked them.
She has a massive base to draw from, but it is enough though. The traditional conservative base shuns her a bit, but with fundraising on her own merit she will be fine getting the word out, not to mention her constant media presence in twitter and other jagoff wastes of time. She doesn’t pull any punches, despite the fact she has no idea how to box. This is a woman who couldn’t name a newspaper she reads, and of course was there as a 2/3 Governor to keep an eye on Russia and keep up foreign relations with them, by osmosis apparently. This is the same woman that somehow made the Tucson Massacre about her, and lashes out on Facebook like a 14-year-old with an acne problem, “those guys can be so mean to me. Stop picking on me!”
Yet she keeps coming back for the punishment; she’s clearly the woman with the broken finger in the doctor’s office. She has had a meteoric rise in the media with her appearances on Fox News, Oprah, her reality TV show, a best-selling book, and her ability to interpret everything that happens, even shootings, as a cheap jab at her. She is the most recognized household name in the GOP rolodex right now, bar none, but I would expect to see her on Ice Skating with the Stars before I would expect to see her on a Republican ticket for President.
Sarah Palin’s fan base, despite the fact they can’t even spell her name correctly at a Tea Party protest, is undying and loyal to a great fault. They follow her blindly no matter the flub, the ineptitude, and the harsh “woe is me” attitude. After graduating early from her Governorship of Alaska, some how being able to serve the American public more efficiently without legislative power (still don’t get that) she has kept up her down home, tundra farmhouse wisdom. She is the political answer to Dr. Phil. No matter what she says or how little sense it makes, her people seem to take it at face value without a second thought. “I always say, a bullfrog with one leg will be able to out run a coon dog with one good eye almost every Sunday.” Huh? “Just because the sink is full of dishes don’t mean the pots and pans belong in the bathtub.” What? “I think God’s will has to be done in unifying people and companies to get that gas line built, so pray for that.” That one’s actually true.
Despite her seemingly endless appeal in the entertainment sector, Palin faces a tough battle trying to garner support for her presidency before she can expect to win a nomination in her own party. There is a lot of doubt, and negative impressions of her out there, and she might be partially to blame for that. Her words are rarely ever taken out of context or “misunderestimated.” She shoots off at the mouth almost as badly as G. W. Bush did with his inability to get words out correctly, or to speak eloquently. She has rousing support in the Tea Party movement, but I feel that the GOP is trying to keep that base at arm’s length a bit when it comes to their next run at the presidency. They have got to get a candidate out there that doesn’t mince words, a Time man of the year, and the rock that still totes on the tragedy of 9/11…a guy with a lisp…
Rudy Giuliani
I don’t really feel I need to run down his resume for you. Former Mayor of New York during the attacks of 9/11. This country loved that man, voted man of the year by Time Magazine. His face and his speech impediment stood as a beacon of a man that represented the city he loves so much, and embodies the tough and resilient spirit he feels that his city is built on. He is New York tough on crime, terrorism, and is fiscally conservative. He is the smiling face that the GOP might want to hang in the White House if they want to take it to Obama.
I don’t know though. Giuliani still beats the 9/11 drum pretty hard, and I am betting poles would show that no one really likes the beat anymore. Don’t get me wrong, it was a number one hit for like 312 weeks. If all else failed and you want to sell an idea or a new plan, just work that little jingle in to the mix, or attach some 9/11 inspired legislature on to a fraudulent bill, and BOOM, you have got yourself a working model for success. After the attacks it was like McCarthy searching out Reds in the US. We were turning over every stone, loading every bullet, and unwrapping every turban and taqiyah in search of the bastards. Giuliani was untouchable.
Though he still doesn’t pay for a hotdog in NYC, he ran an unorthodox campaign in 2008 and fell far short of a nomination. He has some extramarital issues in his past (who doesn’t), and some questionable association in his post-mayoral time. He was an early frontrunner in national poles, but he seemingly avoided campaigning in early voting states and smaller demographics, failing to see the importance of winning states to shore up the view of you as a candidate in the national picture; you have to some states to win others, it’s like a state seeing the other picking the winning team, well you naturally want to be on that team.
It is unclear if he will run, but if he is going to it might as well be now. This is an opportune time for a socially moderate and fiscally conservative Italian Republican to take out Obama’s knee caps with a one-two shot from these ball-peen hammer platforms where Obama is weakest (real stretch to make a mafia joke, but I stand by it). If he does campaign he is going to have to very carefully work around his time as mayor in NYC. He did a lot of good things for the city in alleviating crime and cleaning the joint up, improving living conditions, but he cannot use 9/11 like a comma. In his 2008 bid he peppered it in to almost any single subject and speech, no matter how far off base it took him. Like so inanimate monkey he just crashes the cymbals of 9/11 while Americans have moved on and are focused on the economy, growth, and items of infrastructure like schools and state and federal budgeting crises. If he sticks to his strengths and focuses on the issues of today, not wailing away on a dead horse of a decade ago, then he might have a shot; might wanna campaign in Iowa, too. 9/11
Newt Gingrich
Ah, the elder statesman. You know why they call him that? Cause he’s fucking old and he’s been doing this a long time. I will go in to his chances a bit more, but if you want to stop right now and move to the next I wouldn’t blame you, we will never elect a man named “Newt.” This is just a simple fact we all need to face, especially you, Gingrich.
He’s an old man, and has a laundry list of issues to contend with from his past. You can’t teach an old dog news tricks, but some of his old tricks might have actually come back in to style. He’s a divisive man, as Speaker of the house he went toe to toe with Clinton, and was the perceived, and actual, loser in government shutdowns he basically orchestrated. He might be enjoying some early pole numbers currently over the likes of Huckabee and they yet to be vetted Santorum, but he’s got to make up a lot of ground over his past; baggage which includes three wives and two affairs that led to wives two and three. He even served his second wife her divorce papers while she was in the hospital battling cancer.
He won’t be winning and contested for decorum and good timing, he might be able to win the hearts of a beleaguered nation. He can show a decisively conservative fiscal view and an experience in the ways of Washington, which might sit better with people after the experiment of a lack of experience we took with Obama which has been ho-hum at best. In the vacuum of joblessness and budget woes, he would be a clear leader for the nomination, but we don’t live in no stinkin’ vacuum.
Gingrich, along with Santorum, were suspended by Fox News where they are regular commentators, because of the rumors of possible runs for presidency in 2012. They are both making regular trips to Iowa, and Gingrich himself has publicly stated that he has assembled an “exploratory committee” to see if there is support out there for him. There might be support, and there probably is, but that is the Gingrich base that will short of write his name in on a ballot. His chances at gaining very much ground in a real race to the nomination is slim since the views of him are already set in stone, and it’s no easy task sanding that down and starting anew, not at 68. He would have to convince and fear monger this country in to thinking the Gingrich rope is the only thing we can grab to keep this country from floundering in to ruination; with his experience at Fox News, he might still have some juice in him after all.
Tim Pawlenty
Pawlenty might be the right man for the job, all things considered. He is evangelical so you know the right likes that. He has 18 years in Minnesota government, yet he’s only a verile 50 years old. He is tough on core American values (whatever those are) and a constitutional conservative. He has the winning looks of a John Edwards minus all that sticky mistress/baby stuff he got himself in to. By all accounts Pawlenty is a legit runner.
He really has been doing his homework. He is championing a fight against the spending, which he did pretty well in Minnesota, but mostly he is fighting the Obamacare bill. He is promising already to overturn that “mistake,” not to mention the “cap and Trade” reform and to bring America back to it’s roots. He is running a lot of lines about uniting conservatives under one flag. In his mind it doesn’t matter if you’re Tea Party conservative, Reagan conservative, or mainstream conservative, his ingenious platforming is that we (and by that I mean “they”) can come together to simply elect whoever the hell isn’t a democrat.
I like this kind of thinking from the opposition, because it instills in me a clear disconnect between voting for just any one and voting for the right one. I think it also echoes the feeling of the GOP at this early juncture, “who the hell do we have? Anybody? Bueller? Bueller?” The thing that might hurt Pawlenty just as it hurt Edwards or Kerry is the lack of star power. There is just very little about this guy to really get excited about. He has the charisma of a high school science teacher and the demeanor of a youth pastor, a crappy one. It is in question whether he has the zeal, the pep, and even the commanding voice, to pull off a untied front of conservatives like he talked about at the ND GOP. It takes a very charismatic and clever character to stir the cockles of a nation in to action, and we know the history of how often a nation jumps political ship mid-war, so getting Obama out is gonna take that x-factor the Pawlenty doesn’t have; he’s just too damn nice, in a republican way. (needed a qualifying statement there)
Mitt Romney
The playboy with a smile of gold and a skin tone of freshly roasted almonds. He’s got that salt and pepper Clooney thing going on and just “looks presidential.” This country would be comforted in his strong arms as we are held against his barrel-chest and told everything will be alright…and conservative-ish.
Romney is the GOP playboy. Though a stunning 63, he could be 45 in even the least flattering light. A former candidate for the nomination in 2008 he ran in to more than a few roadblocks, none that will be any less derailing this time around, and some new ones that will make it worse.
For a conservative party chanting for a return to traditional American values and morals, the call of Mormon is going to be a tough ticket to get punched on a ride to the GOP nomination. The party is all about the new face, rebranding, and getting the base back under one big umbrella of a fiscally conservative, God-fearing nation once again, like our racist anglo-european forefathers would have wanted. The idea of a Mormon still freaks people out; Big Love sends a powerful and confusing message even I stare quizzically at some times. Seriously, I’m like a dog staring at the answering machine when it hears your voice when you call home.
That hurdle was there before and it is an even bigger problem now, trying to depose a sitting President that hasn’t yet ushered in the End of Days the party was really hoping for. The second issue that will unequivocally destroy his chances at appealing to the conservative base in the RomneyCare plan he has instituted in Massachusetts. Yes, Obama praised Romney for his plan, telling other states to look to Massachusetts as a blueprint for locally run government healthcare. I think this was a wise move on Obama’s part. How better to ruin a possible opponent in the coming election than by highlighting his socialized medicine plan. How savvy to basically alienate a potential GOP nominee than to point out to his constituency that he’s doing a great job doing something you think is evil and the end of the world; like a black man forcing a Nazi to take a picture with him, “your friends are gonna love this, say cheeeese!”
Mitt Romney may have the looks and the breeding for the office, his father served to the Nixon presidency (at least it’s something) and his mother was also involved in politics. He went to BYU, Harvard, a year at Stanford, and is an accomplished businessman and politician. By all accounts his jib is the right cut to win…but not over Obama to be re-elected. This is the caveat. He might look the part, but his version of socialized medicine and his religion will make many uncomfortable, and incense everyone, in his party. Next to that, I don’t think Christians want a Mormon president representing our Christian values. It is a sad state of affairs, but with a party terrified of the Muslims, Gays, Liberals, Commies, etc. taking over, I think they will be more than happy to lump the Mormon take over in with the lot of them; sorry GOP Ken, better luck in the next one.
So what the hell have we learned? Well we can see that every candidate has their merits in the long run, but too many pitfalls pock-mark the landscape for them to possibly make the journey. We know some are too conservative while others aren’t conservative enough. If they aren’t lacking in charisma then they are of the wrong religion. They might be able to learn from past campaign mistakes, but they just might not look or sound the part of a president. They might be too crazy, or not crazy enough, or crazy about all the wrong things. A candidate might look good on paper with all the right credentials but just doesn’t wear the right suit; or maybe the candidate is just from Alaska.
What is important to note is that no one wants to be the first runner in Pamplona. Not one of them, despite years of hate speech, rhetoric, death panels, Obamacare, repealing DADT, stimulus packages, and one thing after another that has Glenn Beck in seizures on a nightly basis, not one of these people that was running their mouth since Obama started campaigning, wants to step up and go blow for blow with the sitting president. Each one is telling the other to jump while they don’t want to. Sarah Palin literally said that she would run if “there was no one else out there with the right ideas to fix this country.” Well if you’ve got the right ideas then step up to the plate or sign up for Celebrity Apprentice and shut the hell up.
Let’s look at the mold, what does this nominee need to look like and sound like? If we were able to create the perfect political kryptonite to an Obama re-election, what would it be?
We need a chiseled chin, broad shoulders and a man no older than 55. We need a Christian, Evangelical if you got one laying around, and a family man with two kids and loving wife who is only a little better than a “7″ in good light. He needs to have been married at least 15 years and have graduated from prestigious state-side universities. He needs a good voting record and at least ten years in both state and federal politics, yet with all this time in politics he can’t have any baggage that can’t be explained away in press release. He needs to have served in the military voluntarily. Salt and pepper hair with a winning smile. He needs to be eloquent but not too well-read for fear of making a large base of republicans feel stupid. We need a fiscally conservative, small government minded, business friendly, upper 1% pandering, man of the people who can quote both Reagan and Jefferson without sounding like a total tool; pro guns, pro life, and pro death penalty while anti-gay, anti-arab, and anti-accountability. He also needs to be against unions, but for teachers, while still cutting funding to schools and increasing the defense budget to “keep America safe.” Not to mention a long list of Hollywood friends and endorsements up the wazoo from every kind of business person and lobbyist in the nation. Finally he needs to be able to lie to the American people and tell them with a straight face “this is on a need-to-know basis, and you don’t need to know.”
Wow, I don’t even know if that person exists in politics today. Such a finely crafted machine designed to glad hand and kiss babies. The perfect rhetoric machine gun able to tow the conservative line while sounding progressive and inclusive to anyone willing to register republican, whether we like them or not. A non-stop fundraising machine, half stand-up comic, half philosopher of the forefathers. The kind of man that men want to be and women want to be with…Good luck with that! Haha. You haven’t a prayer of finding that creature out in the world today. Though Obama might be fucking up left and right, he is a sitting president on the upswing in the middle of a war, they don’t get deposed. It will take something of a vetting miracle to find the right horse to draw the wagon because I am no fair weather fan and I’m not jumping off the home team just because we’re down at the half. You can have your little parade of elder statesmen and reality TV stars, setting the debates up by the Hornberger system, but short of going all Weird Science and birthing the right candidate from a diabolical machine to “refudiate” the president and guide “Reagan’s country” back on the “doggone” right path, things are looking fuckin’ bleek. (that first one’s real…ah hell they all are. Thanks, Sarah!)
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The Donkey Will Chew Off its Own Leg to Survive
Posted by Wes
or: Nancy Pelosi would not come back for you during the zombie apocalypse
I’m sure like me after a few beers with some friends you have entertained the idea of what your plan of action would be in the event of a zombie apocalypse. I know there have been many films and even an extensive library of books on the subject; George Romero has a hard-on for the subject. Thanks to the insight of a friend I know that after securing ammunition and armament I would make for my local CostCo. Large building with massive amounts of food, provisions, and minimal entrances, that could keep a small group safe and well fed for possibly years. But on the way to the facility, under close pursuit, if a group of people fell behind or even a cliche scenario of the twisted ankle, would you go back for them? Would the majority of you risk your own lives to save the few that are seemingly lost to the blood thirsty horde? Could you leave the safety of a fortified position to help your comrades on the slim chance they could survive unscathed?
Well if you are the Democratic Party the answer is a resounding “no.” If the recent actions of the party leadership is any indicator then they would stand idly by protecting their beloved CostCo of a house majority leaving nothing to chance in losing the position they have for the few lives that are too far gone to help. September 4th brought a story about the Democrats deciding to cut off support for those seats that seem too far out of reach for the party to continue the campaign fight. The party has seen the Zombie horde that is the Republican party in this scenario setting itself upon many races with a vigor and outpouring of public support that indicates that the battle is lost this late in the game; the Democrats are now turning their focus to those races that are near assured and those where they feel they can gain enough ground with appropriate funding to keep a slim hold on the house majority they have held through the last two elections.
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi issued a letter to the party members to redirect funding and support for those candidates who need and deserve the help, also urging party members behind on their dues to pay up. She asked everyone to reach in their campaign coffers and support the candidates that have the best shot to win. This basically says to those in trouble and behind in the polls this late in the game, that they need to pull up stakes and help the party majority before they help themselves; throw yourself on the grenade in the foxhole to save the squad, your own safety be damned.
Obama is seconding this motion adding extensive rallies and fundraisers to his schedule in the coming months to throw his weight behind the candidates within striking distance of opponents in key races while trying to pad the funding so that the candidates can take to the airwaves and oust their republican opposition. Right now there are some four dozen candidates running TV adds as of Labor Day, more than ever before at this time, and they are not only on the air but are leaning to the negative spectrum using words like “liar” and painting their opponents as poor choices instead of highlighting their own qualifications.
Some of the gangrenous Democratic candidates that have been amputated from the body politic are Betsy Markey of Colorado (an 11 point dog), Tom Perriello (a whopping 26 point dog in Virginia), and even Earl Pomeroy who is seeking his tenth term but finds himself at a 9 point disadvantage in North Dakota. These candidates have basically been abandoned by the party support they desperately need because to the Democratic leaders it looks like they are already too far gone to be saved. The party feels it would be doing itself a disservice to fight these Waterloos and in the process lose other winnable races, and possibly the majority as a result, by spreading the $218 million budget too thin.
Is this my party? How embarrassed I feel to be painted in a corner with these people who are cannibalizing their own party to survive while the Republicans have only become more galvanized over the years. This is so indicative of the two parties and the solidarity therein. Liberals have always been a scatter-shot kind of group with wide ranging ideals and beliefs as well as a complete lack of focus as a group. Liberals are islands unto themselves with their outlook on the evils of how things are done, rights, morals, finance, international policy, etc. Democrats seem to be good at doing and saying nothing while Conservatives seem to be a sniper rifle of a group, now more than ever. Conservatives are on the same page with gun control, financial issues, social issues, etc. Just as the Democrats are sawing off limbs like a scene out of SAW, the Republican party is tighter and more united than ever; hell, they put out a purity test to prove you were with them, like Reagan would have wanted.
This is clearly a Kafkaesque sign as to the issues that are facing the Democratic party if they want to continue to hold any kind of power, even if they don’t intend to use it for anything. As inaction is our action of choice, the Republicans are prepared to scale the walls of our ivory tower and take our women and rations. The Democratic party is going on the defensive, a role well rehearsed to this point, trying to protect their fleeting hold on the government by running campaigns and toting their strides in healthcare, education, and regulation of Wall Street. I am no Frank Mankiewicz, but I think you might want to avoid the hot button issue of health care which divided this country to the point that the TEA Party was formed and people reverted to primitive, ape-like creatures calling out “death panels” and “killing your grandma” as slogans of opposition.
The Democratic party is clearly aware of the situation they find themselves in. They are well-versed in the details of the national climate and the taste the party in power has left in the mouths of those that swallowed “change” and “hope” like a Kool-Aid that goes best with NIKE sneakers and bunk beds. We are still deep in a recession, mired in healthcare malarkey, unemployment has not improved, cities and states are bankrupt, and the wars…well they are still going on despite Obama calling an end to active combat on one front. I hate to say it, but though he might be miles more eloquent in his speech, the man is one ranch and a bomber jacket away from “W” in the eyes of many Americans. I know I feel a great sadness from the debt of “change” I am owed.
I have said this before but I just feel like politicians are more concerned with their next campaign than they are for the constituency they represent. No one would ever say it, but I am betting in dark, smoke-filled rooms over fine Scotches even the best Democrat could admit that many of their candidates out there are outclassed and it is a matter of tricking the people in to not seeing it. It is going to take wizardry and slight of hand to win a few of these races, and that is exactly what a redirection of funds is going to allow. Sure, the race in Ohio is a toss-up between (D) Mary Jo Kilroy and (R) Steve Stivers, but with the right funding it might not be, if David Blain moonlights as a campaign manager; but the Democrats aren’t willing to take that chance at this juncture.
The race for Governorship is not really part of this debate, but you see the same thing happening here in California. A well qualified Democrat, Jerry Brown, with decades of experience at all levels of leadership in politics is simply being outspent and outclassed by the (R) Meg Whitman machine. She had poured more than $50 million of her own fortune in to buying the most air, radio, and billboard time she can manage. The woman is all over the state grabbing up endorsements while she and (D) Jerry Brown trade poll leads month to month coming down to the wire that is November. This is the eighth largest economy in the world, California, and yet the best candidate may not win. Or maybe the best candidate will, if the “best candidate” is not synonymous with the “right candidate.” At this point in my life I now see that the best candidate is the one that runs the best campaign, not the one who is right for the job. Politics is a game of getting in to office no matter the cost or lack of qualifications a candidate may possess; then once you are there it is a matter of making the right choices and voting along party lines so that you can convince the people to keep you there the next time around.
The Democrats are in the latter portion of the “keeping it” stages of the races. To save the ship they are keying the airlock to engineering and letting good men and women drown in order to save the ship and the rest of the crew. The party is in crisis mode redirecting all power they still wield to point at their “accomplishments” and to misdirect the voter with negative ad campaigns of opposition while skirting the subjects that simultaneously effect and outrage the proletariate. Thomas Jefferson said that “the tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants.” The Democratic party is taking this to heart as they are feeding the tree they are tending with the blood of their own kind. I don’t know if that is a patriotic act or one of a tyrant, sacrificing your own for the good of the body politic and perpetuating the cycle of political impotence and ineptitude, but I would think that great men and women know when they are doing the people an injustice and know full well that it may be better for another to lead for the sake of the greater good.
I am a proud liberal in the most degrading and inflammatory sense of the word. When a Republican uses the term as a slur, they are painting you with the same brush they reserve for me. I am a far left, wild-eyed critic of the world and America as she grows and labors under her own weight. The party I am begrudgingly linked to is showing its true colors now by not creating at least a cloakatively united front. They know that the party’s power gambit is in jeopardy, and instead of asking why or making an effort to change their course, they are simply shoring the levees on good races and leaving the stragglers to be torn apart without even a somber word to their bravery and self sacrifice. The Democrats have tipped their hand; they are willing to leave those most likely lost to their own fate while protecting the greater good of the party. I wonder how Jefferson would interpret this kind of human sacrifice for the good of the machine, but I know that it is not made for the good of the people. The races deemed lost are not those be run by bad people, leaders, or politicians; it is the abandoning of losing races. It is clear that “my” party is not holding in mind who is best to represent me, but who is most likely to win, and if not tyrannical, this is at least contrary to the true idea of representative politics.
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Posted in Politics
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Hangover to End All Hangovers…2010
Posted by Wes
I have taken a few days now to think long and hard about the year we just experienced, and to a lesser extent the decade we just endured. This last 10 years have been my formidable years; I started 2000 off at 15, now 25, and so I can really look back on these years clearly with horror and disgust in our actions as a nation and as a people. I hate to look back as far as the year 2000, I can barely stomach 2009 leading me to believe that trying to choke down ten years would be the death of me; a frantic malaise would fall upon me pock marked by bouts of crushing depression ending in ripping my hair out in clumps and eating it until I died in a puddle of my own bodily fluids in the fetal position.
The last decade saw the rise of the wartime president with no regard for anything but the nation’s collective bloodlust and vengeance, damning the UN and leading us in to an intractable war. We saw two different men win back to back elections with only one taking office both times. We saw a collapse of a nation, ours, in our banking industry, housing market, stock market, as well as the likes of Enron, Worldcom, and other disgusting malpractices of the rule of law and the code of trust. There have been more scandals then I can shake a big stick at with alter boys being molested by priests and pages being propositioned by politicians. This has been a decade of degradation, filth, and violence on a scale not seen before with the truly controversial rise of newsertainment and 24 hours coverage running rampant on too many networks.
I Hate to reminisce or wax nostalgic about the past, but I can’t help but look back on 2009 and wonder what happened? It feels like, as I look forward to this next year, I am looking back on 2009 as a rampaging night of excessive drugs and alcohol; 2009 was an abuse of every narcotic we could get our hands on, leaving me with more question the morning after. Here I am, tangled in sweaty sheets in some stranger’s home, room spinning, and naked feeling a veracious burning sensation in my nether regions that wasn’t there yesterday. As I come to I notice a fresh tattoo, haphazardly done and still bleeding where there was once simply freckled skin. Empty beer bottles and half empty liquor bottles are strewn around the room as I stumble about, a blaring high pitched whine hindering my every thought deep inside my head.
January is our morning after. This is our time to find our pants and get out before she wakes up, and try to piece together what happened last night. Upon further inspection we have a lot of missed calls, missed ‘dare to be great’ situations we passed on as a nation, had we been sober enough to stop and answer. Reaching in to our pockets we stare through dark sunglasses in the early morning light to see our turned-out pockets, empty, not a cent in them, we’re broke, no chance for a cab now. Wandering down the street we try to get our bearings, find a street we know, some semblance of location and orientation to our home. Making at a haphazardly stumbling pace we try to see the flashes of last night, putting them in to some kind of order to gleam a storyline from.
What was it that we did? We feel like shit, so it had to be bad. I know we met up with Barack at some point, got drunk on hope and possibilities, then he fucking baled on us talking about having to work across the aisle and just left us with our dick in our hands…maybe he knows what he’s doing though, might even come through on some of those plans, just not bingeing on hope with him again any time soon. I know we put a bet on Chicago for the olympics, but lost $50 on Rio in that game. What started it all? That’s right, lost my job yesterday and my insurance got cancelled on me because of the test results, no wonder I called Barack. Dropped by the Tea Party for a while, but those guys were fucking off the wall, could not hang with them so I busted over to FOX News after-party, but that was out of control too. Plus I can’t in good conscience listen to a room full of people trash talk my buddy, so I had to tune them out and get going.
Met up with Sanford, despite him leaving me hanging a while back for some hiking, his chick was nice though, wait were we in her bed? No, couldn’t be. Sanford totally holding on to that chick and his job, never would have let us near her. I was drinking away the pain of losing the house too, so I know I had some shots after hearing the news of the bailouts. Ha, those fuckers fucked me, and got paid to do it, now I feel like another drink. It was Mike’s going away party too, what a New Year’s, dude is shipping off to Afghanistan after three tours in Iraq, rough road to walk there. At least we sent him off in style.
My fucking head is killing me, must have been mixing punditry and journalism for that punch Wes calls “newsertainment”. That shit is lethal. Walking down the street I don’t know which way is up; we’re all confused and can’t get our facts straight, haha, never getting in to that shit again. We gotta sit down a second. Wow, what a night. Too much bullshit and booze, the fucking bottom fell out last night. This is rock bottom. Why do we keep doing this to ourselves, bingeing on hope and news punch only to just feel like shit after it’s all over, doing it again years later once we forget about the hangover? So much bullshitting and empty promises man, no reason to do it, yet we keep falling for the peer pressure every time. Gotta get our shit together man, just learn to say when enough is enough. And who was that chick sleeping next to me? Some brunette, that chick was crazy, and dumb as hell. Wasn’t she from Alaska, just passing through but just would not go away…what was her name.
We breathe deeply and lean our head against the wall rail on the stoop we sit at. Just need to rest a moment ad collect ourselves as the shining sun, God’s spotlight, punishes us for giving most of our day to last night’s affairs. A glaring reminder that in the night you were evil, a sinner falling for the devil’s tricks, but in the day’s light you are very clearly able to see the error of your ways. We hate that sun now, wish we could have stayed in bed with the Alaska chick, would have been easy, but we decided to know better and not linger on that idea. Pretty, different, but no type to be getting in bed with for more than a fling, don’t want to commit for four or especially eight years. Barack was cool last night, but what a drag, such a talker and he never backs it up. Told me he could get me in to that club downtown, “healthcare”, fucking wash out. Told me he had a scheme to get me out of hock, but that didn’t go well. Just a fucking big talker, so much for a fun night, now we feel like shit.
This is our hangover we are dealing with. 2009 brought much disappointment, not really in actual events, but in the idea that Barack sold us in 2008. This last year, now gone and past, the final chapter in the decade of “oughts and shouldas”, stands as a tough year for this nation and those the live in it. We had such hopes after 8 terrible years, that we could have a great hoorah in 2009 and get back on track, but all I feel is a hand job without the release. No happy ending to this year. Instead I look back on 2009 as a lost opportunity, a series of epic fails that snowballed in to the worst hangover this country can feel. There is little to unite us, much more to divide us, and we sail blindly, after a series of scary attacks, increased war efforts, and fear mongering on an accelerated scale, knowing full well that there is no telling how badly we can squander the chance 2010 gives us for true redemption. Sitting on this stoop in God knows where suffering from binge drinking of hope and here-say, all we can ask is whether 2010 will serve as the alka-seltzer to our troubling woes, or just hair of the dog?
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I didn’t want Habeas Corpus anyway, so there.
Posted by Wes
The saying goes that history is written by the victors. This is of course true because the reality is that the victors are the only ones left to write it most often. But in sports I find that history remembers more than just the victors, the first placers, and the number ones; sports history records, more than any other kind of history, the unbelievable errors and losses in the annals of history. The three instances that come to mind are Bill Buckner, with his missed ground ball in game six; Chris Webber’s TO at Michigan in the NCAA Championship game; and most recently the fourth & 2 call by Bill Belicheck against the Colts. There are so many more and any fan of any team has their own specific list of worst moves ever they can prattle on about endlessly over beers in Any Tavern, USA.
The ball gets dropped from time to time, and in sports they make note. It becomes part of the myth and history of your franchise, not unlike in politics. Republicans/Democrats in America is treated the same way as a Lakers/Celtics rivalry discussion. Every little mistake, over-rated player, bad call, and crushing defeat is tallied and exploited for your opponents humiliation just as every victory and all-time legendary record is hoisted above your head like a Heavyweight Championship belt. This, in the end, is how we decide winners and losers in sports, but not in this endless game of musical house majority that is democracy. There is no W-L record we can really rely on for this, so we simply point out all-time bad calls and presidents while trying to defend our worst moments with crooked refs and no instant replay…wait, I’m confusing my metaphor with reality now.
Well on the list of great political bloopers on the Democrats side we have some doozies; McGovern in ’68, fucking Eagleton; Bill Clinton/Monica Lewinsky; public option/death panels, just to name a recent few. The Republicans are no slouches though; they got Iran/Contra; Korea, which one might say was the beginning of defense spending so thanks for that Truman; and the greatest scandal in American history, Watergate, and Nixon overall; republicans win the ‘lousiest president’ debate. But now we have Obama to thank for possibly topping the all-time list of ‘disappointing/ineffective’ presidents with his most recent motion to support extension and only minor language changes to the Patriot Act; he called it a hastily written piece of shoddy legislature during his campaign and promised to see that it was changed to restore civil liberties and rights…doesn’t look so “shoddy” from the oval office now, does it.
Barack has been on a rampage, it seems, to make every bad decision he can and this is no different. He flat-out broke a promise, extending three specific portions of the Patriot Act set to expire at the end of this year, but worst of all he tried to sneak it in under the radar attached to the Pentagon bill which was mostly about spending issues. The genius of this was that 95% of the items voted on were on finances, from military budget, federal debt ceiling increase (if it’s a ceiling, why can we just raise it, we remodel our debt/income house when ever we want, not much of a ‘ceiling’ if you ask me), and a myriad of other items. This is also going on in the quagmire that is health care debate and voting. With all this, the white house issued letters and statements to get this voted on and that they supported an extension.
After this and all his other blunders thus far I have become completely soured on him. First watering down the health care reform, then ridiculous spending, the lack of reform, lack of transparency, the Afghan surge, the Guantanamo Bay BS, now the Patriot Act!? I now understand that Obama really does not care for the civil liberties and the human rights of the American people or those in our custody. It appears he is simply writing another chapter in the “Bush” book, not getting a new book of his own. He has green lit continued wire-tapping, e-mail tapping, and seizing of business records under the Patriot Act. There is also the system of the “sneak-and-peak”, where any agency is allowed to break in to your home, without warrant or notifying you in any way, just to see if they can find evidence to get a legit warrant to prosecute you, and come back with that, and seize all evidence legally.
This is in addition to the suspension of Habeas Corpus for prisoners, which is in effect in America, Guantanamo Bay, as well as military detention bases in ‘war zones’ like in Bar’am. So in addition to not closing Guantanamo Bay, denying rights to trial, prosecution, and legal council, he is now continuing the legislation expanding government power beyond the letter of the law, allowing his administration to continue the rights violating practices that were fear-mongered in to place by Dick Cheney and his administration, I mean the Bush administration. This is the greatest disappointment for me, I was sure the Obama would become a great leader repealing and discontinuing heinous practices as these mentioned, returning America to the level headed, diplomatic nation that it once was. All I can see is continued war and abuse of extended powers like a military junta more than anything else.
You have to understand that these laws were put in place under extensive stress, fear, and panic. The nation as a whole was willing to hear any argument and willing to sacrifice a little now for the greater good on the back end. We gave up civil rights to restore relative safety. What happened was illegal activities and use of laws that was never intended; the “sneak-and-peak” has been used for drug related activities in far more instances than in any terrorist investigation. The abuse was ok then, we needed someone to throw down the gauntlet and go to town for this country, and we had just the redneck to do it. In that time of uncertainty this nation was impressionable and easily swayed, so laws were broken and we were able to accept it as a temporary, necessary invasion in the name of peace and security.
What we have now though is a complete disregard for the lessons we should be learning from those most bloody times. We need to admit that these laws were unconstitutional, hasty, and did not even serve a purpose to the end for which they were designed. As a nation we gave the thumbs-up to the Patriot Act, then, because we knew that a full review and a long drawn out debate would come to pass when the Act’s time was up. This did not occur, no discuss happened, it was a small part of a massive bill that was up for a vote. More time was allotted for the defense budget and estate tax than went to the reinstatement of my God-damned civil liberties. As far back as November of 2008, people like Adam Cohen of the NYTimes was writing that many were feeling that Obama could hear and weigh the arguments of those that see him as a chance to end this Act and take governmental power back to a pre-9/11 status. Barack Obama would be a voice of reason, as he said he would be during his campaign, and pull back the reigns of a government run amok, restoring this country to a time of innocence, before our vulnerability was so savagely revealed to us.
Still, today our prisoners with suspected ties to terrorism don’t get their rights, none at all in a war zone prison; we can still put prisoners under rendition, the practice of changing custody of one of our prisoners to a foreign country with more lax standards of human rights in order to extract what we want; we can wire tap; read your e-mail; break in to your home or business LOOKING for cause to come back with a legal warrant, and all this in the greatest country in the world!? The proletariate, you, should be up in arms over the laws of a savage time continuing in to this presidency one more day than they set to last for. An abuse of power like this is something we would embargo Cuba for, threaten Iran for, speak strongly against N. Korea for, and yet you and I are the victims here with no one to speak for us except condescending senators and representatives.
The fear we live in and the concerns of the American people have changed. We have now allowed our foreign policy to determine domestic issues; this is the way to ruin and a state of martial law now continues on our soil despite having the eyes for 20/20 hindsight. You must realize that your stripped away civil liberties will continue on simply for political gain. Same as with the increased debt ceiling and dropped public option, the Patriot Act was extended so the republican party had less cannon fodder for the 2010 mid-term elections. These crucial policy decisions were made not for what was best for the American people, but what was best for the democratic power structure. Time and time again this country, the people that make it more than just real estate between Mexico and Canada, has been dropped by the wayside for the good of political power and industry. The trickle down effect works in reverse when it comes to policy, we at the bottom of the pile get pissed on first.
The gavel was replaced with a gun eight years ago. Justice was found on the business end of an M-16, and we were fine with justifying the means to the end through the red filter of rage. America was willing to set aside the Constitution and the Bill of Rights as well as grant the President powers far beyond those set forth by the checks and balances our founding fathers created, or those approved of by the U.N. From 2001 to 2004 we were willing to believe anything and from 2004 until 2008 we were powerless to stop the monster we had created in our post-9/11 Frankenstein phase as we watched it tear countries asunder, including our own. With Obama we were to get all of the benefits of living in the greatest country on earth, from the bottom up. He stood as a beacon of hope for change; not to something new, but to something old, from a time before we lost our innocence in Manhattan and became afraid of our own shadows and those that operated in them. For me the last of those dreams, the constitutional rights of 2000, has died, leaving me no longer hopeful, but weary, of Obama’s last three years in office. You are my Buckner, Barack Obama, you made the list.
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Grand Old Party Purity: Get tested every six months…
Posted by Wes
to avoid an outbreak of moderate views and ideas
or: in case of a ‘moderate ideas’ outbreak, take Purivax every day until you again hate gays, immigrants, and rekindle your love for guns. (side effects may include rash, dizziness, prolonged spells of irrational fear, misinformation on all political topics, a predisposition to simply scream instead of reasoning with opposition, anal leakage, and even supporting G W Bush for re-election. If side effects continue, contact your nearest republican representative for a job, immediately.) Purivax, wouldn’t this country be great if we had a moat?
For many years leading up until now the very driving force of hope and joy has been sucked out of my life force by one story after another of truly despicable and shocking actions by those vested with the responsibility of representing the proletariate they were elected to fight for. Week after week and year after year, the will of the people has been largely ignored, as well as the masses of the world, as America, specifically the GOP, ran rough shod over every human right and possibility of progress this country has had on a myriad of topics. When Obama was elected, or was campaigning even, this country began to polarize in a way that I had not seen in my lifetime. As he became president and started enacting his decisions on policy and action, the outraged tides were stemmed no longer, and the tidal wave of irrational fear and neo-racism came rushing in from all sides. I felt that there might have been a real chance for bi-partisanship in this country despite this, but I have been so wrong. Though Obama may claim to want it, I haven’t seen it, and if the GOP’s new purity test is any indication, the conservative right has now galvanized to shun even moderates who represented the possibility for across-the-aisle progress in this country.
If you haven’t been obsessed with politics as I am, then you may not have caught wind of the new ‘purity test’. It is a list of ten policies and platforms that every republican running for office in 2010 must adhere to so as to receive support from the GOP in their election. The ten items include opposing Obama-care, bills like the stimulus package, anti-amnesty immigration laws, protecting the defense of marriage act, and supporting the right to bear arms, among others. Every candidate must meet at least eight out of ten of these items to qualify as a conservative republican and be eligible for support in fundraising and endorsements from the far-right GOP. The test was designed to weed out moderate republicans in the coming elections; with no support from their party, moderate candidates would die leaving an opening for the GOP supported, far-right candidates to run for office in the house and senate.
I want you to think about this for a minute, I mean really think about the message the GOP is sending to the public and it’s party. The GOP is saying that if you aren’t with us eighty percent then you are not with us at all. It is no secret that I feel the GOP has entrenched itself for legislative war up until now; this proposal now stipulates that no traitor shall be given quarter, and no nay sayer shall be in rank and file of their army. The GOP has essentially stated that they are now requiring every candidate to either give not an inch, no bi-partisan consent, and to hold true to ideologies of the conservative core of the party, or they can join the drum march in to a communist Soddom and Gammorah ushered in under the guise of ‘responsible governing’. The party is now cutting out anyone that isn’t completely with them, requiring them to play ball or they will be excommunicated from the party to fend for themselves on their outlandish ideas of a moderate nature.
When I thought about this I found a few things quite funny as well as terrifying. When I first heard about the ‘purity test’ consisting of ten items I immediately thought that it could not have been a coincidence that the conservative, religious-right came up with ten rules to campaign by, or be shunned in to damnation…c’mon, ten commandments maybe? The party decided that they needed a list of ten mortal ‘sins’ to judge men by as an election came around. Someone decided that ten, exactly ten, items needed to be highlighted that required adherence, so as to get in to heaven..I mean, the RNC. I find it so funny that the religious arm of the conservative party, an all too powerful group of decision makers with puppeteering hands, had to pick just ten. If you look at the rules I see that there are two that sound very much alike, as if they had nine, but needed to fill to conjure images of Moses handing down platforms and policy reform to live by…I’m guessing they think Moses would have run for the Senate.
When I heard the term ‘purity test’ I then became cold and fearful, my laughter dying out. A purity test? Could it be that a bunch of lawmaking, rich, white men decided that they needed a system by which to measure the purity of those in their party, and to a greater extent, the length to which they would go to achieve it? The last time a bunch of white men sat around in a room talking about purity, a million people vanished and Poland had it’s worst tourist season ever; just saying. Hey, if the TEA Party can call Obama “Hitler” then I think this is a fair situation to turn the ‘light of the third reich’ on its head. I find it a very scary proposition for the possible progress in those brave people willing to open their minds to moderate views, that could represent a populous well, when their party has got a knife to their GOP umbilical cord. The sweat needs to be pouring on the brow of those willing to hear legitimate concerns from the left right now. There they are pouring over their voting record and policy moves to make sure they qualify, or where they can fudge the results to fit in the new cement boots of a helplessly desperate party center.
What does this all represent? How has the party become so hostile and unyielding in their policies so as to take it to the extreme of a political contract? I cannot understand how the members of the republican party can stand idly by as those willing to explore moderate compromises are burned at the electoral-stakes as witches. I think it shows a complete lack of respect for the times we live in and the possibilities that are out there. The Grand Old Party is showing its age as it is not willing to embrace a growing population of those Americans, even republicans, that are pro-choice, pro-gay marriage, pro-gun legislation, and pro-health care reform. I know that Obama, and nobody so far, has it right on every issue, the times today have complicated these issues, but I think it is damaging to us as a nation to have one of the two parties unwilling to budge or support anyone that is open to hearing new ideas and constructive criticism to the point that you must sign your ability, as a representative, to re-evaluate your stance as you mature and new information or concerns come to light. Nothing can be gained if we are not willing, first, to truly be open to change.
I am outraged at the audacity of the GOP to literally hold a career ending gun to the heads of those wanting to make change and do good for the public, though in a misguided way, and to stunt their ability to be sentient beings. You are handicapping some of the greatest young minds your party has to offer and you make no apologies for it. If it were me, and I was a republican (shudder), I would be the first to stand up and say “hey, isn’t our conservative party lines and exclusive party policies what lost us every source of power we had in 2008?” Just saying. This party was supposed to be rebranded, remember that? Where a bunch of republicans sat around in what looked like a Pizza Hut and talked about the party ‘rebranding’ and then they placed a black guy as their party representative, Michael Steele. I remember that, do you, GOP? Was this the rebranding, because this feels more like branding…literally branding your party members like cattle on the farm as your intellectual and literal property. Save a horse, ride a Republican.
There is a more nefarious idea I explored as the republican’ts put this out, do you want to elect anyone who signed it? As a republican I would fear two things. First I would fear that my representative was so conservative that they would qualify, and secondly, that my representative trying to get elected would fudge their record or lie to get the GOP support by signing it. Either way the country and the constituents lose. If they are so conservative that they qualify, then progress on the myriad of rights, amnesty, and reform policies would never be explored, even as information and concern changes with time. Your representative would have to ignore moral and constituent’s imperatives to re-evaluate just so as to adhere to these strict guidelines. In this situation the will of the people and this country would not be done. Secondly, if they lie or scheme their way in to the good graces of the party, do you want a slime-ball like that representing you? Would you want someone willing to disavow their own guiding principles in favor of GOP support and funding? They are essentially selling out for money even before they get in to office, there is no way that person has the moral aptitude to represent you and stand up for what is right when they feel it is time, no matter the cost. Either one of the candidates represents the worst possible option when faced with the fallout of not getting with the conservative program.
There may be an upside to this though, as the liberal that I am. The ten commandments as they stand (let’s just call them what they are) would not allow for Sarah Palin, based on her record and platforms, to qualify for support from the party and therefore could not get a nomination to office from the Republican party. This is great news as that maverick can not play the Washington game with her ‘shoot from the hip’ kind of ‘tell it how it is’ mentality. Little Miss Land of the Midnight Sun would have to jump on the GOP bandwagon or get trampled to get to the white house. How great is it that she could not get the support to make a run, unless she recanted, went back on her word, morals, rogue persona, and let the party ‘handle’ her to get to the white house. She would have no footing, if this list stands long enough, from which to run for office. She could not run as a republican representative without the nomination, so she would have to run as an independent…Hardy-fucking-har-har. Hell, they would send Nader back out there just to beat her, and how great would it be for Palin to suck republican votes away as an independent leading to an Obama landslide in 2012!?
The new party line of “qualify or fuck you, Commy” is going to weaken the party in the end. This kind of mandate will further fracture the party, alienating a moderate republican base and hurting the party in 2010. The question of “are you GOP pure?” will come up and will be a platform for candidates to campaign on. This test of GOP balls is a shining example of some of the fundamental issues Obama faces trying to make headway with these fastidious conservatives. They have their heads in the sand on the direction of this country and where it will inevitably lead as causes rise, oppressed groups get larger, and the issues for middle-america become more dire. They will be hurting themselves by saying that they accept no treaty and no compromise. Digging in their heels like this seems to be an appeal to the TEA Party movement and an all out ass-presentation to those involved supporting the 9/12 project. Don’t think that the GOP doesn’t have a specific demographic in mind when trying to retake seats of the senate in many conservative states that flipped on them.
The GOP is attempting to shun those that could be a key asset to showing the party’s aforementioned “rebranding” in the future, opting instead for a party manifesto to weed out the unsavory characters eroding what this country stands for…hmmm, seems there was this guy Karl who had a manifesto once (turn around is fair play after all). I cannot pretend to not see what the religious-right base is trying to do. I have to say that if you are trying to reach out to new voters and appeal to lapsed republicans after a decade of screwing up, the last thing you wanna do is push someone that you are trying to pull in from the ledge of a 15 story building. The action you should be taking is inclusion, open dialogue, and free exchange of ideas which could lead to those on the fence choosing your dead republican grass over our brown liberal grass. This oathe-like list has done little but to disheartened those of us that wanted bi-partisan progress, and scare the shit out of those in your party that don’t fornicate in a pentagram covered in the blood of a thousand enviro-activists while rhythmically chanting the names of all republican presidents. You can’t blame them for doing some house cleaning though, because when you are trying to stage a national coup for power you can’t have any pussy moderates standing in your way examining the ‘consequences’ of your ‘actions’. Heil, Reagan!
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