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Frustrations of The Level-headed: Refugees of The Battlefield
or: Schizophrenic Feelings of Whether I Want to Travel on Your Highway
When I was growing up I was taught that yelling was rude. I was taught that name-calling was wrong and hurtful. There was the idea that sharing was caring, and that giving was better than receiving. I grew reciting “treat others as you want to be treated” and I was instilled with the idea that women are not to be disrespected. I think these are all lessons that we can agree on, and lessons you will or have taught your own progeny. It seems though, that these lessons are not worth their salt in the arena of public discourse. I have never seen a megaphone used for anything but venomous language and name-calling. Libel, slander, anger and hate-speech are the flavor of the month. Pull their hair, gouge eyes, and fight dirty; anything to get your point across. As times and tensions reach a boiling point I wonder whatever happened to calm conversation and open-minded discussion. What happened to respect and constructive criticism? As factions in the world dig in deeper and abandon the no-man’s-land of the middle, it seems we are getting further from progress, and are devolving in to some queer blend of Mad Max post-apocalyptic survival and Warrior-esque gang mentality. No one wants to come out and play anymore.
Through rose-colored glasses, beer goggles, or through the kindness of time’s distortion of fact, some would say that times used to be simpler. Maybe there was a time where things were simple; in the primordial ooze, as a single-celled organism. I am betting there was less tension. Once we crawled out of the oceans, things got as complicated as our evolving DNA structures. Since man could think we have been at odds. You would think that with enough time and a further developed frontal lobe for cognitive thought, we would have gotten to a point where the responsibilities of our place in the world would weigh on us to make the best decisions. But alas, we have not gotten to the point where the greater good is in our minds, but that we just want to be right, and that if we’re right in this camp, then they are all wrong in the other camps. A flawed construct if there ever was one.
Religion is in this vein, and I’ve written on it extensively. Really? You think you got it right, and everyone not following your path is damned? It seems a bit obtuse and even grandiose to think that you interpreted the message of the all-knowing exactly as he intended it. The ego on you knows no bounds, and that kind of pride and closed-mindedness must be a sin. Maybe, just maybe you aren’t right? Maybe you are on a good path, but is being “good” not enough, God cares about my diet? God cares about my impure thoughts, my cursing, my acceptance of His son? Really? Don’t you think he might not be the type to hold a grudge or get bogged down in the details? That is after all, where the Devil is? No matter, I’m sure your particular interpretation is exactly right as a Protestant, and those naive Lutherans are fucked. Jesus, get over yourself.
Besides religion is the political system, which is connected very closely to the social construct of today. Does everyone need to yell so much? Megaphones, protests, name-calling, Hitler references, occupations, “my way or the highway,” “love it or leave it,” and “you’re either with us or against us.” Is this the path to understanding one another? Closed minds and open mouths only makes for a cacophony of bad noise falling on deaf ears. Today we see factions broken off and dug in, ready with a salvo at any moment to smear and defame one another. Republicans, Democrats, Tea Party-ers, Libertarians, Independents, and now Occupiers. We have seen any one of these groups split in to it’s own group, just as religion has done over the last few thousand years. Each party thinks the other is poison for the America we can be. They think their exact way is the only way, and that we are doomed if we don’t change everything now. Seriously, we need to change everything, start over, and rebuild from the ground up. Not one of these parties wants small tweaks and concerted efforts, they want their agenda installed en complet without deviation. They’ve got the perfect plan to fix everything. That damned ego, again.
While most are arming themselves with facts, figures, clever signs, bull horns, organizing community action, smearing the “enemy,” and designing t-shirts as they raise funds for their cause, I can’t help but feel that Sun Tzu would look upon the current landscape and be proud that everyone read his book. He would fill with pride as political armies followed every rule of warfare he outlined so long ago. He we are, trying to make progress as a society, trying to rise to a grander place, and the tactics we are using are that of invading armies!? We want to take the next step, and we are trying to do so in combat boots and a military load out. There will be no progress with fists and a war-cry. When you treat someone as an enemy, they will play that role, and fight back.
In all of this hatred and obtuse thought processes, the real victim is society and refugees of the nation of the level-headed. Those poor people trekking across expanses of war-torn ground in rags with all they have to their name on their backs. Spires of smoke dot a barren landscape and the newest statistics and campaign slogans are exploding in the distance as mortar fire from great distances. Libelous shelling, slanderous espionage, trench warfare. Meanwhile, those that just want compromise and progress in any form walk a trail of tears just hoping not to be ambushed at any moment.
The tension has broken our spirits. Why can’t we come to a table and talk? Why must every victory be Pyrrhic, and every step forward be a stumble? Is every subject worth all-out war from the utterance of the first talking point? Can’t we just do something good? Why is funding schools a political pawn? Do we really need to hold a gun to the temple of grandma’s Social Security check and slowly back out of a conference room? Must it be all or nothing on a moot point like pot or gay rights? Are you crazy, or do you actually believe what you’re saying? I know, you’re just trying to whip up controversy and distract us from actually wanting action. Anger is a great distraction from inaction. Hold your position and never lose that hill, no matter how many suffer in the campaign. Speak robotically and never honestly. Hold to party lines because you need support, if you deviate from the group you will be picked apart by the wolves encircling your camp.
This hellscape is no place to raise a child, and no place to attempt a compromise. Your desire for an end to the bloodshed will be interpreted as weakness. Hold strong to the credo of your particular faction, anything less is flip-flopping, and mutiny. Only trust the man next to you if he agrees with you, but the moment you smell dissent then you bayonet his ass and throw him into the open grave with the rest of the “enemy combatants.” No group even has a white flag here. Surrender is not an option. You hold this hard-line to the death. Progress be damned, and the suffering of your countrymen, just don’t lose any ground. Stick to our guns, man our posts, and give no quarter. If we don’t try to take an enemy position, the we can never lose a battle, so we stay entrenched and whether the seasons.
This is ugly. This is the way it’s been done for so long, so we don’t know anything else. Politics is a battlefield today, not a summit or a meeting of the minds. Everyone has it wrong but you. Religion is the same. Blood is shed because faith galvanizes your soul to the point that the only option is to wipe out any other option. It’s no different in social discourse. People have died for an idea. I suppose an idea is a fine reason to die, but it does nothing but to further entrench the factions. As the rise of a possible new faction, Occupy, becomes a more real reality, there is a new army joining the fight. An army with no plan, no leadership, and no real exit strategy. Just another army ready to stay until everyone else has died. The Patchouli Party, maybe. It’s catchy. But as another group enters the fray, the only outcome is louder anger, and new ammunition in an ever evolving battle against progress. The only answer is for everyone to put aside their pretensions, put down their guns, and work together to clean up the mess and get somewhere, anywhere. A nation cannot withstand this kind of extended battle, and I know the level-headed refugees just want an end to the war. It has done nothing but wear raw the hope for anything but more of the same. Put down the bull horn and talk to each other, not at each other for once. We can’t take much more of this.
Loitering Like a Patriot
September 17th marked the beginning of the “Occupy:” movement. It finds its roots in the idea that we, the 99%, are fighting class warfare with the 1% and we are fed up with it. There is the idea that capitalism, democracy, and freedom, have been privatized and leveraged for personal gain both monetary and otherwise. Whether this is true or not has nothing to do with the actual cause. This is the kettle boiling over as the masses have had enough and simply want…something.
It started innocuously enough with about a thousand people responding to a Canadian-based site that called for the peaceful occupation of Wall St. to make their voices heard that they are tired of the corporate greed and the toxic environment that not only feeds the problem, but is at its core is profiting from it while so many others suffer. There isn’t time nor space for me to recount the events of the last three years, the wars we are fighting, the middle and lower class suffering that has occurred, or the overall tone of commentary about the poor and unfortunate rich that are being targeted in some weird version of class warfare. Suffice to say, people are tired and hungry for change, and they finally just want to stand shoulder to shoulder with their compatriots.
This kind of protesting is nothing new to me. I grew up in Oregon. The NW has been rife for protest and demonstration for decades. We had the WTO riots in Seattle. I know that people sit-in often, protest loudly, and are constantly chaining themselves together in the middle of an intersection for the purpose of one cause or another. The NW pioneered this kind of organization of the masses and we have been the ones to do it best to date. Occupy: Seattle…you knew it was only a matter of time.
All over the country we are seeing events planned out. This thing has gone viral, and ever since the protestors in NY attempted to bring traffic on the Brooklyn Bridge to a standstill, the front has been galvanized.
Charlotte, Seattle, Topeka, Detroit, Cairo, Tallahassee, and on. Occupiers are assembling in the places to let their voices be heard. But to what end? OccupyTogether.org even admits that this is a leaderless movement. A truly organic and grassroots uprising of the people saying enough is enough, but is it enough?
What are they saying in the streets?
“Banks are corrupt and corporate America has held us down for too long!” Really? Yeah, that’s not news. Big corporations are the only reason this industrialized country even exists. What, you think the railroads were built by little momand pop railroad building companies?
“Politicians are corrupt and pandering to big business as they make huge contributions to campaigns and are treated better than the people are!” No shit. Corrupt politicians who will say anything for a buck? Yeah, we can get them in bulk by the palate at Costco for fuck’s sake. Tell me something that isn’t as old as the story of humanity.
“We are sick and tired of the rich being coddled while the non-one-percenters get taxed and left with no help or recourse. It is time the rich started paying more and time that the government stopped bending over for them because they have all the money!” Keep fucking dreaming. Hell, companies are actually people now. We live in a world where “inc” has all the rights as “jr.” You think for one second that there is any going back from this? Not unless we go all post apocalyptic and start killing each other for oil, food, water, and power…wait a minute…
I have been watching the coverage, the videos, reading the articles, and I am still a little foggy on what the eventual Utopia is going to look like. What is the end goal? The end of large companies and world banks? Are we looking to tar and feather, draw and quarter, those responsible for this economic/democratic mess we find ourselves in? I doubt it, we just don’t have the horses for that.
With no clear end game and the looming eviction of the Occupy: Wall St.’ers at 7 am tomorrow, what is next? There is clearly no political party that will come out of this. The Tea Party was a well-funded conservative movement that gained a lot of traction and now has it’s hands inside the rusty gears of politics. Is “Occupy:” going to find itself a candidate? I think they did, but he hasn’t worked out so well for anyone up to this point.
The comparisons to the Tea Party movement are a little premature and a little grandiose. These are people loitering in parks and in public spaces. This is peaceable assembly, but for what cause? I’m not saying that the Tea party protestors had a clear message, but I could speculate that given enough rope and enough time with a microphone, any random occupier would eventually hang themselves in a tirade about the injustice and work there way to the idea of destroying it all and starting over again (well, maybe there is a little similarities in basic message). I don’t know if I can get there with you on that one, young blonde girl in dreadlocks, but this soccer mom in period authentic Revolutionary war outfit in the tri-corner hat is making a lot of sense. It’s all about the packaging.
What hurts the movement is that there isn’t another plan. If most protestors got their way then we’d throw every Wall St. broker in jail, close the big banks, and then rebuild democracy from the ground up. That’s the big difference between the Tea Party and Occupy:, the Tea Party had the sage words of forefathers and a Constitution to prostitute to their cause. The Occupy: movement is really gonna just be stuck with a manifesto and a couple parts of the Bill of Rights…with none of the forefather quotes to take out of context. Without some patriotic drum to beat, what it looks like is anarchy, dissent during hard times, and political mutiny (or at the very least an act of terrorism, maybe?).
It’s the protestors themselves that are hurting their own case. It’s like the crowds from Bonnaroo and Burning Man got lost on their way home and set up shop in any town they could find. Blocking the Brooklyn Bridge? Getting arrested? Shitting in the streets? Also, I have never seen so many backpacks at a protest in my life (no one take anyone wearing a backpack seriously). This is not going to play well to middle America. You just look like lazy and unemployed misanthropes. I’m not saying this is what you are, but that is how it is playing out.
I love the enthusiasm, but it’s misdirected. More than anything, if political involvement for real change is the end goal, then you blew your load too early. This will all be forgotten by January, but had this event taken place at this same time next year, than a voting base might have been able to be put in to action at the precipice of the election night. With Obama on the campaign trail and the GOP clamoring to create conservative sound bites, then you might have gotten more attention closer to the eleventh hour.
This doesn’t remind me of the Tea Party and it certainly doesn’t remind me of the uprising in Iran that got its start through the internet and social media. Though you’ve got hotlines, mailing addresses, and soon it’s own newpaper thanks to pledges at Kickstarter, this reminds me of the “Vote or Die” campaign…and we all know how well that turned out. Yeah, the t-shirt was cool, it was cool to repost links on Facebook, but it didn’t get the youth vote anywhere, and it didn’t stop Bush from getting elected. Once a movement is on MTV, it’s been dead for a week already.
I appreciate the effort, and I know you probably don’t have anywhere else to be anyway. Hang out, play bongos, chant, cheer, and march. It’s good for TV ratings and I’ll hashtag a post or two on Twitter, but don’t expect real change. It’s chaotic camaraderie at it’s best and it’s squatting and loitering all other times of the day. I support you, in theory. As does Soccer Mom Jane and Joe the Plumber, but Joe’s got a job and Jane’s got three kids to raise, so don’t expect their participation in anything but the Cliff Notes. They don’t have the time to camp out for a month in the name of a cause, and that is the major difference between the Tea Party and Occupy…priorities. Take a shower and put together a position, or get back to loitering outside Starbuck’s, hitch-hiking to Denver, and playing bongos for spare change outside a Virgin Records store. You know, the stuff you did before someone sent you an email to occupy something.
www.avaaz.org www.occupytogether.org #occupytogether #OTW www.facebook.com/occupytogether
Toe-tapping to TwitPics: I’ll Take Immoral Over Criminal Any Day of the Week
I am betting you people were wondering where the Poppyc**k staff was while this Anthony Weiner Twitter scandal was unfolding. We were seemingly missing in action while a story with more punchlines than a Bill Hicks stand-up special was splashed in headline, bold-type on every newspaper and magazine in the country. Well, we just didn’t think we could make any jokes you hadn’t already heard. Honestly, this story is a comedian’s wet dream, so we left it to the comedy professionals…and FOX News. Now, in the glowing aftermath of the “junk drawers” photo, along with all the other photos, we have but two things to comment on in the proceeding article. One: Is anyone else expecting to see Anthony Weiner on the cover of Men’s Health this summer? Shit, this guy’s built like a Navy Seal and John Holmes had a love-child. Two (and most importantly): What the fuck did he do wrong to have to resign? I mean, what did he REALLY do?
Yes, it is going to be one of those articles. This will be a piece brimming with advocacy for the devil and perspective granting examples that are designed to show you that there is a very fine line between illegal and immoral, and whether we have the right to hold a government official to a higher ethical standard based on some archaic social construct of the majority’s expectations. Who are we to expect puritanical moral fortitude in our elected officials? We have this deranged expectation, or maybe a belief in the acutely designed facade, that we are electing some kind of moral pillar above the fallibility of the “common man.” It’s time we got off our soapbox and took off the beer goggles. These are not deities or divinely designed eunuchs cut from a cloth of moral superiority. These are people, and most of the scandals, including Weiner, have nothing to do with legal ramifications. These were just skeezy dudes, and I for one don’t mind.
I don’t mind a pervy government official. I want a human being as my representative. Someone with a foot fetish and something terrifyingly kinky under lock and key next to the gun lock box on the top-shelf of his bedroom closet. Give me a guy with a skeleton or two shoved in a crawl space at his summer home in Palm Beach over a squeaky clean tight-wad any day. I want an average Joe to keep my best interests at heart. A man who knows the legal quagmire of keeping a gimp in a box, or knows the stress of having to constantly be erasing your browsing history because your girlfriend would be horrified at what gets you off. A guy that knows the importance of establishing a safety word before letting his wife shove a ball-gag in his mouth. A guy from Anytown, USA. You know, like the rest of us.
Beyond the Weiner scandal, dubbed the Twitter scandal, there are more “sicko” incidents than I can count. How about the “toe-tapping” scandal in the Minneapolis-St. Paul Airport perpetrated by Larry Craig? Plead guilty to one count of disorderly conduct and paid a fine, but not before stepping down. Maybe you remember the “shirtless Senator,” Chris Lee (pictured left). Sent a woman a picture of himself, shirtless, after responding to a personal ad on Craigslist. How about the audacity of Mark Samford, who disappeared over Father’s Day weekend to meet his mistress in Argentina, under the guise that he was hiking the Appalachian Trail. He didn’t step down, but then again his term limit was up and it was really a non-issue to impeach him since he was almost out anyway. Then there is Louisiana Senator David Vitter (pictured below), who admits to frequenting prostitutes through the high-class service, “DC Madam.” He too has yet to step down, as of writing this article.
What was so wrong about these things? Larry Craig broke the law, sort of. Disorderly conduct for trying to get some gay sex in an airport? Skeezy? Yes. Illegal? Barely. Vitter used prostitutes, but it’s hardly a criminal offense; more the crime of a lonely man. The rest did nothing more than go outside the sanctity of their marriage. Extra-marital affairs are not illegal. Technically, yes, there are still laws on the books, but the Supreme Court overruled them in a case many years ago, so it’s not technically illegal. Are these incidents a sign of a moral vacuum in these men? I don’t think you can jump right from “stupid” to “criminal” in one connection. At best it would be more of a “six degrees of Kevin Bacon” sort of situation. If there is a moral flexibility in these men, I don’t think it caused by any kink they may have. These are mutually exclusive issues and any moral flexibility they have was brought to light by one fact: they’re fucking career politicians. You gotta check to make sure you’ve still got all of your fingers after you shake their hand.
Why do we as a country get so up in arms over these incidents? Why must we call to hang ‘em high and to end their careers? I am sure the unemployment rate would sky rocket to sixty-percent in this country if everyone who ever sent a topless photo of themselves was fired from their current job because of some social contract stating that digital buggery is criminal. You’d have a hell of a time finding a trainer at your local gym.
Scandals like this are nothing more than an assault on an archaic idea that our representatives are not just stewards of the law and justice pertaining to the betterment of society, but that they are stewards of a puritanical moral fabric we possess as a nation. I don’t get how a senator, mayor, governor, or any other elected official, is expected to live by a higher moral code than the rest of us. Frankly, I don’t trust anyone that thinks that they do occupy the higher road in a moral sense. I don’t trust someone to be fair and honest if they snub their nose at the rest of the world because they are not “perverted” like these men. Can you trust someone who think you are less than them? Could you really hope to elect your representative if they look down on you as some townsperson of Sodom and Gammorah?
We need to just get over ourselves. We live in a world where a moral line is not in stone or in sand, but is perpetually nomadic . Given enough pressure we can justify almost any action as a nation, but in moments like this we take this stand that what Weiner did was wrong. Based on what? He never banged any of the girls he “sexted” or sent pictures to. He didn’t break any laws, embezzle money, trade votes, or take bribes (remember Rod Blegojavich?). By all other accounts he was a decent official. OK, I’ll give you the point that it wasn’t what a married man should do. But if you’re gonna throw sanctity of marriage around, then I am gonna hold you to the complete idea of the statement and require you to call for the resignation of anyone who has had an affair or has been divorced before, or during, any seat of official capacity. Looks like the Republicans will get their wish since government would get a hell of a lot smaller in less than the lunch hour. You’ll have five Senators and we’d be calling in the Janitor to break up a filibuster by Friday.
I am betting you didn’t like that, if you’re one to wave the morality flag high and proud. The government would cease to be if we didn’t allow some leniency in the case of truly moral questions. Since we can’t seem to agree on where the line is on scandals requiring censure and impeachment, I say we make ‘em all sign morality contracts. Yes, if you want your cake and to eat it to, then we need to make every government official elected or otherwise, sign a contract outlining moral and legal behavior that will and will not be tolerated as well as all of the fines and punishments that will go along with each infraction. This way there is a clear and defined manner of conduct that we require of our elected officials. The NFL makes it’s players sign a similar contract and there are fines and suspensions that are levied all the time because of it. Why shouldn’t the government be held to at least the same standards as a professional athlete?
Could you imagine the fall out from this act? For good or bad, we would have our officials dancing to the beat of one painfully boring drum. Divorces, affairs, failure to file or pay taxes, DUI charges, spousal abuse, drunk and disorderly, inappropriate fraternization through texting or emails, lewd photographs, pseudo-racist comments, and we could even test for steroids (I’m looking at you, Weiner). I would go as far as to include taking the Lord’s name in vain in that contract. Let’s design a government so pure and strong of character that we will never see another scandal again. We could start electing an almost superior race of people…wait a minute, that sounds familiar…
Well, if we’re going this far, I am betting that some of you good Christian folk might want to put a clause in the contract the you can’t run for office if you’re gay, since that is immoral and a sin to some of you. Of course we would also include a provision prohibiting sexual intercourse in any position besides “missionary.” Then again, if we’re taking the inch I say we go the whole mile and not elect women, since there are many men that think a woman should be in the kitchen and not on the Senate floor. Then there is the percentage of the population that would want to exclude anyone of non-white heritage to be elected to office. Of course, if we really want to please even smaller groups we might want to make sure those white people have only blue eyes and blonde hair and…wait a minute, now we’re back to that hauntingly familiar tune again…
Guess what folks, fuck you and the high horse you rode in on. You think you can wag a finger at a guy who taps his toe or sends “dirty” photos to a girl? You think you can hold them to some higher level or morality because they are elected to represent the people? Well, I hate to break it to you, but porn doesn’t watch itself, and strip clubs don’t operate as a not-for-profit. Las Vegas is called “sin city,” and prostitution is legal in Nevada. You can get a license to buy and smoke marijuana legally. Gays are in your military, sitting on the hill in DC, and are the stars of your favorite TV shows. This is no puritanical world and I don’t know where you get this sense of superiority, but it has never existed in the way you think it has.
Case in point. The coup de gras illustrating the American’s people apparent tolerance for scandal is provided by just one man: Marion Barry. A former President of the School Board, he was a four-term Mayor. in 1990, during his third-term, he was caught on videotape in a hotel room doing crack cocaine. He was eventually found guilty of only one misdemeanor count of possession and served six-months in federal prison. After being released he immediately ran for city council of the 8th Ward on the slogan, and I am not kidding, “he may not be perfect, but he’s perfect for D.C.” He won. He was then reelected as Mayor of D.C. in 1994. The man had many more troubles including tax issues, an alleged DUI (which he was found not guilty), and driving with a suspended license. This man was a four-term mayor of the capital of the United States of America for fuck sake, but Weiner needs to step down for a cock shot?
So where is the line, folks? Please, I want to know where you draw it in the sand? These are not career ending flubs, just bloopers from “america’s stupidest elected officials,” airing this fall on FOX. If Weiner is guilty of anything it might be animal cruelty, seeing as how he was clearly trying to smother a ferret to death in his jockeys. This is a job for PETA, if nothing else (had to get one in). If the likes of Weiner and Vitter, and the countless others, had signed a contract of moral conduct, then I can see getting up in arms on some level, but no such document exists. We can get one made I bet, if we really wanted it. I would have one stipulation before making them sign it when they take an oath of office: every American needs to sign it first. If we want our officials to be held to some unwavering level of excellence, then we need articulate and follow the standardized moral code we can all agree on. Seems impossible, but it would be a true quid pro quo, like a national abstinence pledge (those work so well already, which is why everyone in public school is a virgin)…and a hush falls over the peanut gallery. If you’re truly on board with that maniacal idea, then please feel free to email your local congressman. I would just avoid using the Twitter though, because some people seem to be doing “gross” things on there.
Homosexuals are losing us the war; Baptists are sodomizing free speech
or: Fuck you Westboro, God loves gays, who do you think told him streets of gold would be “fierce”
On Wednesday the Supreme Court ruled in favor of the Westboro Baptist Church, yes,
THAT Westboro Baptist Church, in a free speech case regarding the rights of protesting at military funerals. The case came before the courts specifically on the funeral of Lance Cpl. Matthew A. Snyder, who died in Iraq. His father sued, but was ruled against in the case, the judges citing the first amendment as protecting the right of the protestors, and any protestors for that matter, at the funeral. It might have gotten lost in all this focus on the middle east, but I think the case deserves a second look and a moment of your time. This is a case of free speech; ugly, hurtful, inappropriate free speech, but free speech nonetheless. In our country we love our freedoms and have killed and died for them, but as Uncle Ben told Peter, “with great power, comes great responsibility.” Should a group be allowed to protest at a funeral? Should we be allowed to exercise our rights, even when it seems the most inappropriate time to do so? We may respect the dead, but should a church be allowed to publicize it’s anti-gay agenda at the time of mourning for the deceased?
The Westboro Baptist Church is no stranger to national controversy, or the spotlight for that matter. This is the very same church that planned to protest the funeral of little 9-year old Christine Taylor Green, the bystander victim at the Tucson Massacre. Yes, this fucking bunch of Baptist radicals was going to travel to protest the funeral of an innocent, prepubescent girl who was slain in a random act of violence; a girl not associated with any great cause but maybe to pick out the best pair of tights for her outfit to fourth grade the following day. This group of seemingly extremist Christians has been publicly vocal in their feeling on the gays, “fags” they like to call them, and against secularist agendas as well as any other cause they feel is eroding God’s protective shell over America.
On Wednesday they officially won the right to be total, pious jagoffs until the end of days. With their signs condemning homosexuality, some saying “God hates fags,” they are now officially allowed to protest any damn place they feel like, including the venerated funeral. That’s right folks, these soldiers of God can now protest a funeral, any damn funeral they want. With the precedent set by this ruling of the highest court in the land, they can come to the funeral of your gay son or daughter and protest with the message that God hated your child and (s)he got what they deserved and are rotting in hell for eternity. Some very poignant “love thy neighbor” rhetoric from the right once again.
Is this right? Shouldn’t we protect certain aspects of life, most certainly death, from being politicized and used to further an agenda? Should at least SOMETHING be sacred in this tumultuous times? I am all for free speech. I am the guy that described Republicans jerking off in the streets covered in goat’s blood. I am the guy that throws around the word “rape” like a cheap party favor. I love my free speech and love a good phrase coined around the idea of a dead Taiwanese hooker (why taiwanese? I don’t know, it just sounds funnier). But with the ability to say these things I take great care in addressing certain issues. I know the time and the place, the subject and the line not to be crossed. I am one to attack the jihadist reaction to the Fort Hood Incident, and I am one to make light of the Tucson Massacre being referred to as a “massacre,” but I am not one to make light of the actual death or to at least pay respect for those that sacrificed themselves in the defense of the very liberties that groups like this Baptist church prostitutes for their own gain. (see, “prostitute,” love that word)…
I for one am ecstatic at the prospect of being allowed to protest at a funeral. Despite the complete lack of decorum, respect for the dead, or responsible use of an inalienable right, I am going to use this new found precedent of free speech protection to picket funerals in accordance with my beliefs. I can’t wait to protest McDonald’s at the funerals of the obese with signs saying, “God hates McNuggets” and “Sweet and Sour sauce is served in Hell.”…
Monotheism: Where we went wrong
(that oughta ruffle some feathers)
or: Peter laughs “Holy shit, you weren’t even close! C’mon in you moron, ha ha haaa! Hey, Paul, you hear what this guy thought was ‘the path?’ I know, right?”
Religion has stood the test of time as a basis for the foundation of lives, and to a greater
extent the entirety of civilization, since the age of keeping history. For thousands of years man has used various religions as a guiding light to his reasoning behind almost every decision ever made. Religion started out polytheistic in most cultures. There was a hierarchy of gods that controlled different part of the world; held sway over everything from nature, weather, and even the malfeasance of man. Culture, both modern and historical, has had it’s deepest philosophical roots in the soil of religion. Empires has risen and fallen under the flag of one religion or another. Wars have begun and ended with the prostitution of one religious ideal or another. Hate has been bread and then euthanized under the word of one religious figurehead or another. Today we use religion as a weapon of fear and as a tool to further fallible causes man has in mind, but there is one idea that no religious leader or follower won’t ever entertain: they are all wrong…
…We mucked it all up with the terms of service to our God. Christians think it is stupid to pray five times to God…well Christians do pray fives times a day, they just don’t bow down to God to do it. Christianity is a religion of convenience. We can pick and choose what we want to observe, but Judaism and Islam are much more orthodox and rigid religions. They take great study, service, humility, and even strict dietary guidelines. Christians and even Catholics can’t hang with that kind of dedication. Christians are the laziest and most judgmental group with a sense of entitlement that rivals any other. Christians rule politics and social issues with the money and power they exert in Washington. Jews do as well, they both have lobbyist groups and causes they further, mostly limiting rights of some kind for groups they condescendingly disapprove of.
Jesus would flip his shit if he saw the state of affairs in religion today; so would Moses and Muhammed. They would look upon the spear heads of their respective groups and weep. Every single person would be scolded. Each philosopher would look upon the misguided masses politicizing and prostituting the name of the almighty and be shamed by it all. If Jesus ever returns, like truly returns as Christians believe he will, then the only people to escape unscathed will be the small children, because every single human being on this planet fucked up his message.
No one has got it right. There, I said it. Not one religion has got it right. Every single one thinks they have the golden ticket in to heaven, but there is no chance that they have it. As a basis for all the big three is the idea that God has a plan and we can never understand it…so what makes you think you picked the right team? How obtuse are you that you think you got it right and eeeeeeeveryone else is wrong. Odds are that every single religion in the world, if there is some kind of God, got the message wrong from beginning to end; like some Scantron test in high school you might have accidentally guessed a right answer or two, but there is no chance you’re passing a test you didn’t even have the right book for. You’re all screwed…
…We need to get away from getting wrapped up in how to serve and just realize that we probably aren’t doing it right. He doesn’t care HOW you do it, but only THAT you do it in your own way. I don’t think God cares what you call yourself, what religion you are, or what the hell you ever eat and when. He wants your love, we can all agree on that, and I don’t need a book or a leader or a billion fellow God-lovers to do that. I love God just fine on my own without stepping on anyone’s toes or trying to prove it by holding anyone down because of my own beliefs. I am no soldier of God, I am just a friend of His; He knows me, knows us all, and I don’t think He is knit picking our every day activities; He knows what’s in your heart. I don’t think God was so petty that he cleaved out only one path to Heaven; some sneaky riddle of the Sphinx we’ll need to unravel before Peter will open the pearly gates. He created us, and he knows that we are more complicated than that. I don’t think He is tricking us, or trying to trip us up by making us pick the door to heaven; there are no doors, only a few simple truths that we can decide on our own. As the Almighty I am betting He decided to not go with a stringent set of by-laws in Heaven, it doesn’t seem like that kind of place. They are not wrong, you most definitely are not right, and the sooner we realize God only wants our love, the sooner we will realize that He isn’t concerned about how He gets it.
