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Obi-Wan Bin Laden: More Powerful in Death than in Life?

or: FUCK YES, FUCK YES, FUCK YES. Finally.

In the glowing aftermath of the announcement of the death of Osama Bin Laden, at the hands of US forces, there is a haze I cannot escape. Everything should be sunshine and lollipops. With this symbolic blow to terrorism with the removal of it’s figurehead from this mortal coil, there are reports of celebration in the streets. Facebook and Twitter are booming with status updates and 140 character tweets of the happiness, excitement, even tears that come after nearly ten years of fighting and wondering where in the world is Osama Bin Laden. We have spent Billions of dollars that was originally based on a manhunt for the men responsible for that date (I refuse to directly reference it since it has been prostituted as a political ploy and weapon in elections). Vindication might suffice as a word to express my personal feelings on the matter; retribution might be appropriate, too. The President used “justice” in his speech tonight, but I don’t know if he addressed the real issue at hand, nor should he have. We will leave the cynicism and the twisting of this moment in time to the pundits and the news outlets (and me). The one thing we all need to think about is whether he is now more powerful a martyr than he was a man?

Finally

I don’t want to shit in your cornflakes or rain on your parade (we might be justified in having one for the guy that pulled the trigger), but it seems we must be cautiously hesitant to think that this will just dissolve a hardened, extremist group like Al-Qaeda. The death of Bin Laden is only going to galvanize an already grizzled bunch. He has been martyred by the Great Satan. Darth Vader was warned by Obi-Wan that if he was struck down then he would become more powerful than you could possibly imagine. Now Osama has finally given his life for the cause at hand like an empty robe falling to the ground. His followers and comrades will stop at nothing to justify his death, honor his memory, and meet now not only a harem of virgins, but Osama himself, on the other side.

In my lifetime there has been nothing more blood-curdling or earth-shattering than walking in to my first class in September so many years ago and seeing the first tower burning, live. I was so confused, didn’t believe, I couldn’t understand. Once I understood I remember hearing Bush speak and wanting only blood for blood. That metallic, salty taste on my tongue made the hair bristle on the back of my neck. I wanted heads on pikes, men drawn and quarter, I wanted men sentenced to be “hung by the neck until dead.” I wanted Old West justice, and if anyone was fit to deliver it then ol’ G.W. was the Texas boy to do it. For a moment I was elated that we had an illiterate redneck at the helm. He was the man who could slake our collective thirst and put meaning to this awful event, tying on it a nice like bow made from the innards of men foolish enough to mess with Texas.

But is was slow going and it has gotten so complicated over the years that most of us forgot what we had initially been fighting for; that justice that Obama spoke of tonight. There is no explaining away our actions in the middle east as a whole, mostly I’m ashamed and angry as an adult now. I became so jaded and tired from the justifying and legitimizing and most of all the double-speak of “strategic victories” and “progress on the ground” that I just wanted to bring all the boys back and admit we had no idea how to get one guy, one symbol, that could alleviate some of the psychological burden that we collectively felt.

Today, some of that was lifted with this announcement. I was never afraid of terrorists. It was never a feeling I felt. I was never scared to fly, afraid of a bombing, and it never effected my daily life except as an inconvenience or something that got my ire up. Today was the most genuine nostalgia I have had for my child-self. I can finally explain to that teenage boy that we got that bastard. He can look up at me with the hope and bloodlust and he can finally rest knowing that the head of the snake, the one that bit and poisoned his youth so long ago, was cut off. I would send him off to bed and pour myself a drink. Hell, what am I saying, I’d pour a drink for the both of us before he went to bed. Then I could sit down in a chair and realize all that happened today was the next chapter, not the end of the book.

I don’t think any of us are kidding ourselves. I might have just been obtuse as a kid, but I can see all the cynicism in the tweets and the status updates today. This moment is tainted by the ten years that preceded it, and beyond. Like drinking from a putrid pool of water after nearly dying of thirst crossing the Sahara; worry about the gut rot later. Sage Francis wrote almost immediately after I heard the news on Twitter: “Donald Trump and Sarah Palin are already asking to see Osama Bin Laden’s death certificate! This is getting ridiculous now.” Among others are, “BREAKING: Apple takes credit for finding Bin Laden through iPhone secret tracking. ‘We told you it was a feature, damn it’ – Jobs,” “When you run out of the house to join the Osama is dead rally in DC, when does grabbing the beach ball cross your mind as a good thing?” Possibly my favorite I’ve found is, “Beloved character actor Osama bin Laden, star of TV’s ‘Fox News’, dies age 54.”

Right now, as I type, there are hundreds of men setting timers, spooling det cords, and sewing vests for the purpose of attacking America forces renewed by the thought of their now martyred leader. Instead of one man’s calculating and absentee leadership, each cell will invariably mobilize itself and act on it’s own accord with no central leadership. This is now Project: Mayhem and in death, he has a name, his name is Osama Bin Laden. Stop it. His name is Osama Bin Laden. This is crazy. His name is Osama Bin Laden…what is going to follow in the next few weeks will be escalation. We may have cut the head off the snake, but there isn’t only one snake, and they are all irradiated with like three heads; these groups are Cerberus, the hell-hound. The next 72 hours will be very tense. They will want immediate satisfaction. We have got the new terror alert system after doing away with the Starburst color wheel we had gotten used to using, and this new one consisting of only two levels is going to get a workout over the next six months.

What might be the good to come out of this? Well, the greatest good will be as symbolic as his death. We might get renewed anti-terrorist cooperation, new cooperation in areas we didn’t have it, and an overall feeling that our military ineptitude can be lifted for the time being. Pakistan is most definitely going to politically bend over and spread ‘em after looking like jerk-offs and terrorist sympathizers with Osama having been in Pakistan when we found him. There might be a statue or parade for the man that killed Osama, justifiably so. Maybe a bronze statue of the soldier mid-war cry, holding up the severed head of Osama in one hand and a machete in the other. Too gruesome? Well, my 16-year old self would disagree with you on that, and I’m betting the you from ten years ago would, too, if you were honest with yourself.

Obama is now untouchable in the next election. War time Presidents get re-elected, that’s just a fact, and now with the blood of Osama spilled on what I can only assume were Italian marble floors in a mansion in Pakistan (Lucy, you got some ‘slainin to dooooooo), he can basically phone in a campaign. Like Zim capturing the smart bug in Starship Troopers, it’s a great victory, but it is only the beginning of the rest of the war. This was, though, the culmination of a “vow” Obama made during a debate in 2008, to find and bring to justice Osama Bin Laden. He fucking did that. That. Just. Happened! If the GOP field was weak-kneed before, they are even weaker now. Who wants to drunkenly fall into the wheat thresher that is Obama 2012? This is the drum Obama gets to beat for at least the next 24-months before anyone tells him to put it away. There is no amount of pundit BS and side-chatter that can break the results of this day. Bin Laden is dead. Election day cannot get here soon enough; don’t want this “dead terrorist” smell to wear off before then.

A monster no more.

This Middle East crap is all a fucking mess, and “if it ain’t, it’ll do until the mess gets here.” This was my generation’s great evil. The man hell-bent on destroying and upsetting the natural order of the civilized world. Enjoy the fruits of our long harvest. Yes, we’re cynical, we’re cracking jokes, and maybe I’m looking for the dark cloud instead of the silver lining, but this was not just a symbolic and real blow to terrorism and it’s most insidious voice, but this was like me killing the monster that lived under my psychological bed. I was never afraid of him, but the idea of him. Osama’s image and martyrdom will live on forever, no hyperbole there, but at least we finally put that SOB six feet under, which gives me just a little bit of that metallic, salty taste of blood in the back of my throat that I have wanted for so long.

Side note: If anyone fucking says, “mission accomplished” to me I will sock you right in the nose, though. That phrase is as dead as “winning.”

Political Pr0n

or: I See London, I see France, I See…a Confidential/NOFORN Report on the “Eccentricities” of Lybian Leadership and the “Swagger” of Turkey’s Prime Minister

In today’s age of only translucent governing, which we have all come to loathe and accept, it seems foreign and uncomfortable to think that there is a middle level of government that is taking the legs out from under the idea of diplomacy and communicates with US branches of government and individuals in an astute and oft disarmingly frank conversational manner. I am of course remarking on the shocking level of candor and insight that the first stream of leaked “cables” that began to post on WikiLeaks–which has absolutely no affiliation to Wikipedia—a watchdog group that also brought you “the war logs.” Unlike the horror found in their previous bombshell, these leaked documents feel more like photos of the state department stripped down to her skivvies in all her voluptuous, back room-dealing wonder. This most recent wealth of information comes at the mid-level of government outlining everything from topical cables about the Koreas, Iran, and Turkey; to assessments of eccentricities and impressions of individuals and government agencies with seemingly little worth individually, taken as a whole this information could present a significant advantage in long-term relationships. There is no doubt these documents will stand as the largest and possibly most detrimental breach in national security ever recorded in our history.

The reaction to the information contained in these first peeks has been on an international level. From Iran to the U.K., the reaction has been everything from embarrassment to anger. Throughout the world publications including The New York Times to The Guardian have decided to reach across the waters to jointly publish certain cables they feel are the most poignant and timely in topic and content; leaving out certain specific names or agencies to in some way protect security of both individuals and agencies while still informing the public. This decision seems a bit odd since WikiLeaks has uncensored documents where the names are already available with no editing of any kind. Though I see how the newspapers are trying to live up to some misguided ethical code we are all subject to, if the information is already out there for public consumption it seems a bit disingenuous to try and not name names.

What is most interesting about this whole event is the genesis of this situation and how it came together. The cables came from a database called SIPDIS, which breaks down really as a cable aggregator, think military Yahoo!News, that automatically updated these cables as they were sent and were made available to almost all governmental and military personnel with any level of clearance. This database was created in the wake of 9/11; the outcry of better interdepartmental communication, a breakdown that could well have led to an inability to defend against the terrorist attacks on the US, was internalized and this system was implemented to make such reports available to everyone from the President down to soldiers on the ground in a war-zone allowing possible pertinent information to be used on the fly without getting caught up in red tape and separate informational catalogs at different agencies.

The odd thing about this resource was that it was readily accessible, as it was designed to be, but the wide availability seemed almost too open; anyone able to access this information could not only print any of these confidential/secret/NOFORN documents, but they could download unlimited amounts of information onto portable devices and hard drives. Enter: Bradley Manning. A soldier with access he began collecting this information and leaked it; Manning can now be found in prison awaiting a court martial in reference to the alleged release of this confidential information. This young soldier could be facing charges of treason if the US military tribunal decides to make this an “example-making” situation; treason might still be a conviction punishable by death, I’m not sure.

Whatever the outcome of those proceedings we may never be truly privy to, what we are left with is another massive treasure trove of some of the most interesting and insightful documents in to how the US government handles direct face-to-face impressions and reports on foreign governments, diplomats, individuals, and how internal communications are frank and often seem to be written amongst friends sharing a smoke in the boys room between classes. These documents are the notes passed in class, or the high school girl’s diary, discovered and read aloud to the room or amongst her little brother’s friends, revealing what you really think of the all-american QB, or the new girl in class. These were papers never meant to be seen. For all intents and purposes these are documents that should have been burned after reading, but our fears and paranoia got the best of the government, and they decided to catalog their innermost thoughts and dreams for easy reference and sharing.

What will you find in some of these documents? What might we want to be aware of? I have loved so many of these documents so far. The 278 cables released thus far span January 2010 back to December of 1966. On March 6, 2009 at 12:12 Ref. ID 09BAKU179, a “secret/NOFORN” Cable from Baku to everyone including the American Embassies from Abu Dhabi to Secretary of Defense Washington , D.C., that a well-informed Iranian businessman told a “Baku Iran Watcher” that a company called “INSULTEC,” owned by UK-citizens of Indian origin was mislabeling containers and secretly providing Iran with supplies used in creating a nuclear power plant, which outright violates sanctions on Iran. It goes on to say that yes the “INSULTEC” was a direct competitor of said businessman, but that other information provided negated this as a possible motivator for providing the information. Also included is outlining this businessman’s skill as an Iranian fencing champion, that he had just returned from a ten-day trip to Dubai, and that a quick Google search turned up possible “INSULTEC” companies, but outside that there are no direct ties to be determined via said Google search.

If this isn’t kind of eye opening enough in to what is contained herein, there is so much more. I know you can go to the NY Times, The Guardian, etc., for the pertinent information on Iran and North Korea, but what I find most fascinating is the on-the-ground assessments of people in great levels of foreign power. Reference ID 04ANKARA7211, classified “secret,” contains an assessment of Prime Minister Erdogan and the ruling Turkish Party. There are interesting assessments of the personality of Erdogan, like how he “strode through the E.U. corridors of power…with a semi-pro soccer players’ swagger and a phalanx of sycophantic advisors.” This is not the only candid impression to be found. Ref. ID 09TRIPOLI771, classified Secret/NOFORN, is subject titled “A Glimpse into Libyan Leader Qadhafi’s Eccentricities.” In this you will find puzzling insight in to his affinity for finding room for him to pitch his Bedouin so he can receive visitors in a manner that shows his connection to the culture of his people and his almost paranoid aversion to being housed in rooms higher than the first floor when in foreign countries. He also apparently has recently grown willing to not insist on traveling with his full all-female bodyguard team, as per a recent trip to New York City where he was only accompanied by a single female bodyguard.

Now you may think that this is trivial information. But this is only the slightest glimmer of a peek in to what is contained within the few cables released so far. There are cables relating to information on UN willingness to support US movements; concerted effort feeding certain populations; speculation upon speculation of real-time reactions to events; what kind of corruption may be faced in certain governments; what it would take to make certain deals, even within the UN council; and what kind of resistance the US may face from a myriad of sources. All of the cables do reveal one thing: the impressive information and tactile knowledge officials, embassies, diplomats, and field operatives have with their given assignments and areas of expertise. In documents called “scenesetters,” local diplomats and personnel collected information for visitng officials to study to become well-versed in a crash course in issues on the ground; covering everything on what topics to avoid and likely expectations of local government in return for getting what the US wanted. Report after report has a wealth of information from candid, “private” conversations; overheard talks; and well-educated guesses as to weaknesses and hurdles, not only what they may be but what can be done to overcome them, even a decade down the road from the cable’s date of authorship.

Reactions have spanned the spectrum from Ahmadinejad’s outrage of a US ploy to intentionally leak these documents, some set to not be declassified for some thirty more years, to undermine certain countries and reveal an insight and level of visceral knowledge the US has been able to gleam from all over the world, to the level of embarrassment from people like Prince Andrew with the revelations of his “cocky” insults of the press, the serious fraud office, and most notably the French. Hillary Clinton seems to be the “alleged” mouthpiece for the reaction from the US government saying that the Administration “strongly condemns the illegal disclosure of classified information…I am confident that the partnerships the Obama administration has worked so hard to build will withstand this challenge…”; but as historian and political writer Timothy Garton-Ash put it, “It’s a historian’s dream, it’s a diplomat’s nightmare.”

This is the lifting of the veil over “he-said-she-said” speculation. These reports will not be able to stand the scrutiny of foreign diplomats and governments. In the light of day the gossip and statements made in confidence will show the sharing of every shred of information this government has been participating in since the beginning of the cold war at some level. US Ambassadors in the Middle East, Russia, and South Korea, are going to be tighter lipped on the coming months, years even, as they realize that the apparent friendships and social, unwritten contracts of behind-closed-doors frankness were all a diplomatic ploy; like getting the boss drunk after work to get on his good side and pry away the nuggets of information that might get you his job one day. The US is going to face growing resentment and friction in places already afflicted with enough static electricity to microwave a Hot Pocket.

I am looking at the War Logs and yes, they were shocking, upsetting, first hand accounts and reports on something we were already kind of pissed about. What these State Secrets are revealing is what the middle level of government is doing to gain whatever leverage they can in every situation from feeding starving nations to vetting new foreign presidents as allies in industry, future troubles, and what the US can do and what they must avoid to stabilize and cement interests in “client states” abroad. There are thousands of people in every level of international relations from flirty secretaries to businessmen and ambassadors just waiting to get a phone call about the conversation they had that led to a particular reports. Going back at least ten years every single dignitary and foreign national that ever shook an American’s hand is getting very nervous as to if, but more likely “when,” their number will come up.

Though the frank and the sometimes funny manner in which some cables are written and titled, i.e. Ref. ID 08BERLIN122 “Welcome to Berlin” or Ref. ID 07HARARE638 “The End is Nigh,” might remind you of the work of a snarky tabloid journalist, there is a very real threat to some people outlined and discussed in these cables. You can’t fool yourself in to thinking that the repercussions for some in more hostile and less diplomatic countries and societies might face punishment on serious levels. These cables are, in all honesty, a tragic breach of national security and diplomacy of an epic and never-before-seen level and the decision of major news outlets to publish excerpts and cables in their entirety shows the difficult ethical questions journalists and publishers must walk when reporting news; I am neither condemning or applauding the choice of the likes of The Guardian and the NY Times to publish these cables, only that it presents the most difficult of choices in our chosen profession. US and UK diplomatic relationships will be strained from these candid depictions of US impressions of the planet’s most vocal and standout industrialized nations. There are no punches pulled since these were never to be seen–obviously, from the classification levels–and there are real threats to sources that might have inadvertently been revealed in the publishing of these cables.

We have been shown only 278 of 251,287 cables yet to be released. What has been revealed so far is nothing short of astonishing and awe inspiring insights and frankness on the level of private conversations, yet these were available to some 3 million officials and soldiers. This is only .0011% of what is to come. Are we going to find out who killed Kennedy, or if there are aliens at Rowell, or what was on the missing Watergate tapes? No. But I am looking forward to seeing more of these from the “W” administration from 2001 to 2006. I cannot wait to see more of these cables turned communiques on the topic of the beginning of both the Iraq and Afghan wars What insight was gleamed by the administration leading up to these events and all the key players; hell, we’ll have to wait until sweeps week for the really juicy stuff.

Obama wanted a government that operated in the light of day, a transparency for the people not seen before in government, but I don’t think this is what he had in mind. This is a public screening of all the hushed talk after meetings, the truth about our feelings about the validity of some UN members, our view of volatile countries and their possibly corrupt governing practices, and a look in to the astounding level of detail in which we report and circulate information to gain one more foothold abroad. The US Embassy advisors and foreign diplomats haven’t got a pot to piss in after this, as they smile their alligator smiles and are seen as snake oil salesman of the Faustian persuasion whose efforts have been set back almost a decade by one soldier’s possibly misguided desire to set the truth free.

The Pale Horse of Death is Apparently Pulled by the Truck of Brown

If the Republican party’s reaction is any indicator then what has happened in Massachusetts is equal to the dead rising; it’s the first sign of the apocalypse. Yesterday the state that stood as the house that Kennedy built decided to experiment and elected a GOP Senator for the first time in what might as well be forever. If you believe the headlines and the pundits then this stands as the death nell of both the health care bill and the beginning of the end for the democratic party in 2012.

Everywhere you look the democrats are ‘reeling’ and ‘regrouping’ while the republicans are ‘striking a blow’, ‘retaking Washington’, doing everything shy of actually masturbating in the sreets. Yes, thanks to a change in the state legislature the democrats made, this special election had an adverse effect after the death of the “lion of the senate” and they got Scott Brown elected over Coakley, a bump on a log sort of woman who took a Howard Dean-esque dip in the polls and lost support in the weeks leading up to the election.

I, on the other hand, think this is nothing more than one incident where a state, left without its perennial powerhouse candidate, was a bit lost and disenfranchised with the regular party and decided to go with someone new and mostly untested…sounds familiar. Also with the likes of FOX News just shy of sponsoring Brown and outlandishly exaggerating the scope of this abnormal political event. You can’t blame them though, this is a classic stage of grief in the political world, “party promiscuity”. The widowed Massachusetts is just letting its hair down after a long marriage and doing some experimenting like “Cougartown”, sans Courtney Cox.

Why was the state democrat for so long with Kennedy around and then just up and switches parties? The mass of Massachusetts simply didn’t want to be blamed for him losing the seat. Just like Ghandi’s hunger-strikes that stopped fighting, it’s not that his fasting actually changed their minds or mended bridges, they stopped fighting because no group wanted to be responsible for his death, so they went along with periods of peace. Guilt can be an amazing factor in decision making if you don’t want a mired conscience, so they just kept voting him in because they didn’t want to be the group that didn’t vote for Kennedy.

I think this situation goes to prove a long-standing theory that I have written about before. I think many voters simply size up a candidate and decide whether or not they will win. My theory states that when left with a toss up choice, a voter will vote for the person they think will win, not necessarily who they want to win. Getting caught up in hype and conjecture, they can be swayed by newspaper headlines and polls, or even people hypothesizing on the outcome, and if a candidate is not favored to win, they hedge their bets and vote for the other person, so their vote is not wasted. Also, a part of their voting checklist is whether or not they think their candidate is a pussy. People like someone who not only looks strong and virile, but might be able to kick ass in a bar fight, i.e., Kennedy.

However, I am not totally convinced that this is an isolated incident, which makes me nervous. With the GOP toting ‘purity tests’ and Obama losing numbers like a cigar-fondling Clinton, I can see that the right is galvanized (behind FOX News) and realizes they are going to have to act like democrats with their rallies, protests, and ‘grass roots’ campaigns. The republicans are fighting mad and they are going to get this country back one seat at a time if we stick with the current status quo in the major areas of employment, security, and the ever present ‘socialist/gay agenda’. (I am not likening gays to socialists, or vice versa)

This might be a sign of things to come in 2012. Palin and FOX News will try their damndest to derail a democratic landslide like in 2008, and it won’t be hard because even I’m ready to vote Nader before I get my morning coffee. Everything Obama is doing today, and the state of the union, is playing right in to republican hands. The republicans took 2008 as a slap in the face and now they have been energized behind their most conservative leaders and blowhards.

But I do not want this taken out of context; this was a special election on short notice to fill the throne left by Kennedy upon his death in a state that is hardly a fair litmus test for America as a whole. Jesus, this is Massachusetts, we’re talking baked beans and Red Sox, it’s the 50th most populous state for God’s sake.

Whatever this might indicate for the future, we need to also realize that we put a woman up against a man who’s biggest slogan was, “Hi, I’m Scott Brown, and this is my truck.” That is like catnip to republicans and I hate to sound sexist, but Kennedy was a bear of a MAN, and I think gender might have played a role in that Coakley was a fairly dainty woman. I mean, I once heard that Kennedy castrated a bull just by staring in to its eyes; that’s a tough act for ol’ Martha Coakley to follow.

Well, whatever the case, it seems that every news outlet is getting its press releases from the GOP and announcing the fall of Obama, democrats, and the health care bill, all because of a man and his pickup. Is this party just a house of cards? Are we this fragile that a single seat in the Senate could be our downfall? I think not, we’re proud, progressive, and civic minded…we’ll knock ourselves off the pedestal thank you very much, no help needed. Fuckin’ pick-up truck.

epilogue:

I fear that this candidate has somehow captured the minds of republicans like some savior. The win of Brown has spurred great chastising of the democratic party, and even Obama is trying to make strategic party changes to avoid further losses in 2010 elections.It seems the republicans have become enamored with a charismatic, young, and untested politician so as to bring about change in the status quo, something the democratic party fell under heavy fire for.  I think it can be disturbingly summed up in a statement made by a man I was talking to Saturday night; with a wild-eyed smile and a chuckle he simply said, “Scott Brown 2012″ and paused, as if waiting for me to offer a high five. Indeed.

New From Mattel, ‘Fox Pundit Palin’, now with Kung-Fu Conservative Grip (on reality)

or: 2012 campaigning is really heating up already

Well if you haven’t heard then I figure I should let you know that the scales over at FOX used for measuring out balance and fairness are a little off kilter…ah who am I kidding they’re fucking broken. It was announced that Sarah Palin has found a home at FOX News as a contributor for the network. Sarah Palin will be able to comment and pontificate on the stories of the day from a her fastidious conservative view point on a regular basis now that she has her contract with the least fair and balanced network out there. FOX News made the obvious decision to bring her on board, and now that she is in the private sector with absolutely no power and no ability to affect change through public service she has become more dangerous than ever. Without the constraints of the checks and balances of government and the relative safety of being a commentator and pundit, she can continue her campaign for 2012 office with reckless abandon and speak from a platform directly to her constituency and continue the path that Nixon set forth so many years ago.

With this most recent move Palin now steps further in to the line of fire from the liberal media that she so vilely disdains. For a woman who wants the media to leave her alone and report fairly, I find it odd that she would decide to be a conservative pundit on the most conservative network on television that comes under scrutiny for its shoddy reporting and inaccurate facts and information. Palin is a child of the media, a woman who would be literally no one to anyone outside Alaska if it weren’t for the firestorm of coverage she gets. She is a lightning rod for editorial content from every news outlet in the world, and somehow she seems to be sickened by the very machine that created her and fueled sales of the book she is hocking these days.

Sarah Palin must have a twisted sense of her own moral compass since she is now joining the media. She is a commentator and pundit, though not liberal, of the same job description that she was skewering people for doing on the left. It appalls me that she can take this job with a straight face while telling everyone else just to report the facts and stopping sensationalizing when I would bet dollars to donuts that her first report will be a lambasting of someone of the blue team persuasion. You can bet that every word out of her mouth will be bias, unfair, and only mildly informed on a network that would just as soon bury a pro-liberal story as they would praise her for the insight she can provide. The hypocrisy of her move in to this new arena is not lost on me, and as I am sure Jon Stewart of the Daily Show will show, it’s not lost on many people.

I have written about this before, no not just my distaste for the likes of FOX News and Sarah Palin, but of the glaring similarities between her path so far and the one chosen by Tricky Dick Nixon. I mean, the similarities are eerie. A governorship, a failed run at the White House, a book, six-figure speaking fees, and now a move to the private sector limelight to stay on the tip of everyone’s tongue before bum-rushing the next general election. Think I am wrong? Hmm, well it seems, from her appearance on the O’Reilly Factor, that she is set to campaign endlessly with every camera that is pointed at her. If you watch the interview she speaks like a politician trying to bring it all back to the people, what they want, finding conservative simple solutions, and what the Democrats are doing wrong. The ‘FOX News Sarah Palin’ sounds no different from ‘campaign trail Sara Palin’ that we all laughed and scoffed at. Both are the worst Barbie doll spin-offs ever.

What will Sarah bring to the table on FOX from story to story? I am sure she will tow the Conservative line, being that she passes the ‘GOP Purity Test’ with flying colors, and will stop at nothing to treat every segment like a Conservative Party/Sarah Palin sales pitch. Without a doubt she will be voicing less her opinion on things and more about what others are doing incorrectly and why we deserve it after voting democrat. No matter the story she will bring everything back to examples of situations gone wrong; she will harp on poor health care reform, killing the private sector, unemployment, her book ‘Going Rogue’ on shelves now in hardcover for just 24.95, and that we could do better with common sense conservative values.

“You know Sean, it is like this, I think that the situation with Iran is just like our situation with unemployment in this great country we live in…”

“Well, as you know when I was campaigning in 2008 I talked about the real core values this country needs to get back to. The family values that make this country great are really the first step we need to take so that we can really feel safe in this country, of America, and until we do that then those fat cats in Washington are just gonna be spinning their wheels in the mud on issues, like Yemenis terrorists.”

“Well I don’t know what this administration can really do about so-called ‘Global Warming’, I know I don’t feel it up in Alaska (laugh), where we have strong moral values and are more concerned with employment, our families, and keeping an eye on Russia, so that this country can be as safe as we used to be. I agree with Giuliani that, you know, we never had any attacks under George W. Bush, and now I just really don’t know that we are as safe as we used to be.”

…No, these are not things she has said, but she will say them in one way or another. Mark my words, she will handle issues of national security with some folksy story about her family, or somehow compare it to unemployment, or health care, or some hot button issue she wants to campaign on. I know, that in the coming months I will have to shake my head and try to wonder how she compared the situation in Yemen with protecting the sanctity of marriage and it will inevitably cripple me mentally.

I once wrote about the possibility of Roger Ailes, of Fox News, running for office in 2012 as President, and that Sarah Palin would make a comfortable running mate, especially with her Nixon like approach to politics. I wrote that a meeting of those two minds would lead to a very dangerous position where the Presidential and Vice-Presidential candidates would be literal bedfellows with the largest and most popular news network in America. I wrote of the real danger to the Democratic ticket that would be and how formidable the aligning of Palin with FOX News would be. I did not stop to think that she may join the team and I cannot figure out why I didn’t think it would make sense for her, trying to stay very public, that she could get a forum on FOX programming in some fashion. I mean Mike F-ing Huckabee has a news show on FOX News Radio, and he is a politician who still has his eye on the white house.

So the plan has been hatched and she got her wish, she is now on FOX News, all the time, without having to make news, she now gets to comment on it. Not only that but she is paid to do so, and now she has every right to voice her opinion and continue to campaign for the white house 2012. My real issue here is whether this might hurt her a bit. I mean, she is aligning herself with a pretty inflammatory network that appeals to the far right, this might have a dire effect on those in the moderate sector that are pliable on their allegiance based on the climate of the country. It is not without merit to try and think whether she cares though. I doubt that Sarah, with her purity affirmed, even thinks about the moderates. She may preach bipartisanship but she sure as hell would not practice it. She would not give democrats an inch to negotiate or put in their two cents, so I don’t think she really gives much mind to anyone but the conservative base she draws on and putting to bed any distrusts FOX News viewers and listeners may have of her. I see now that her foremost concern is with the right-wing base and this channel has that in spades for her to preach to on a daily basis.

O’Reilly did make a few interesting statements though in his softball interview of her. It was funny to see her trash 60 Minutes and then O’Reilly to say he respected them, kind of putting her in check, and then Palin shutting up on it, trying to save face. His most interesting point was about why everyone on the left sees her as a threat being that we all think she is misguided, uninformed, and basically ignorant. I had to think a minute and I realized I am not necessarily afraid on Sarah Palin, no one is afraid of her. What it is for me is that I am afraid that she can find enough ignorant people to stand behind her, I am fearful of the world her constituency wants, and the fandom-like adoration they hold for her no matter how wrong she may be or how foolish she looks.

They are a mindless herd, her people, and given enough exposure and enough Palin Kool-Aid, a situation may occur in 2012 where Democrats are doing shit and she might be able to garner enough votes to win a Presidency. This country elected Bush, one and a half times, so my fear comes from our past mistakes and the fact that she is charming enough to pull off an upset. Look, Bush was a jackass and a terrible public speaker that was able to win during a peaceful time in America against a tried and true Vice President coming off one of the largest periods of growth in American history and great progress, democrats should have been a shoe-in, but it didn’t work out. If the situation develops that Obama has done fuck-all in his four years and we are still in terrible shape, a beautiful, folksy woman might be able to win an election when aligned with the powerhouse that is FOX News and all the right people she will be rubbing elbows with.

Do not put it past Palin to be campaigning every chance she gets on the network, but I think she might have a great advantage with this position as she will be able to up her political and international IQ while working on her non-regional diction and making up for people’s biggest complaint about her, that she was kinda dumb. Every day she will be able to work on her selling points, learning and covering the news, she will know at all times what is going on, and will actually be able to be on television more often, to more viewers, than the President will be able to. Palin will be unavoidable and her punditry will be news, so she will become news by being on the news, she can’t buy that kind of coverage, and she is getting paid for it. Make no mistake, if she is able to make herself in to a great conservative pundit on this network, then I have no doubt that she will be a force in 2012, and her ego and confidence will only be bolstered by good segments on the channel.

I have to admit I did not think she would be able to pull off a position on FOX News, but I can’t say that I am surprised. This is such a ‘Nixon’s Road to the White House’ move. I mean she has stolen every other move of his so far, why stop now. Palin is now very dangerous with a position right in the ears of those that support and love her most. She has endeared herself to a public and now she will have the opportunity on a regular basis to report fair and balanced news to those that want to hear it. No, she is not a ‘reporter’, I think she is officially a commentator, or analyst, or pundit, whatever, but she is now very visible, and as such, is officially kicking off her 2012 campaign as of Monday. From here on out everything will be for the white house and delivered as a campaign stop speech, for which she is getting paid so handsomely. Where might this fair and balanced analyst be making her first stop? Well with her first act as a Fox News pundit and correspondent at the news network she will be the keynote speaker at a TEA Party event for which she has great respect and support for the American people that are getting out and saying enough is enough. Fair and balanced like a fat kid on a see-saw.

I didn’t want Habeas Corpus anyway, so there.

The saying goes that history is written by the victors. This is of course true because the reality is that the victors are the only ones left to write it most often. But in sports I find that history remembers more than just the victors, the first placers, and the number ones; sports history records, more than any other kind of history, the unbelievable errors and losses in the annals of history. The three instances that come to mind are Bill Buckner, with his missed ground ball in game six; Chris Webber’s TO at Michigan in the NCAA Championship game; and most recently the fourth & 2 call by Bill Belicheck against the Colts. There are so many more and any fan of any team has their own specific list of worst moves ever they can prattle on about endlessly over beers in Any Tavern, USA.

The ball gets dropped from time to time, and in sports they make note. It becomes part of the myth and history of your franchise, not unlike in politics. Republicans/Democrats in America is treated the same way as a Lakers/Celtics rivalry discussion. Every little mistake, over-rated player, bad call, and crushing defeat is tallied and exploited for your opponents humiliation just as every victory and all-time legendary record is hoisted above your head like a Heavyweight Championship belt. This, in the end, is how we decide winners and losers in sports, but not in this endless game of musical house majority that is democracy. There is no W-L record we can really rely on for this, so we simply point out all-time bad calls and presidents while trying to defend our worst moments with crooked refs and no instant replay…wait, I’m confusing my metaphor with reality now.

Well on the list of great political bloopers on the Democrats side we have some doozies; McGovern in ’68, fucking Eagleton; Bill Clinton/Monica Lewinsky; public option/death panels, just to name a recent few. The Republicans are no slouches though; they got Iran/Contra; Korea, which one might say was the beginning of defense spending so thanks for that Truman; and the greatest scandal in American history, Watergate, and Nixon overall; republicans win the ‘lousiest president’ debate. But now we have Obama to thank for possibly topping the all-time list of ‘disappointing/ineffective’ presidents with his most recent motion to support extension and only minor language changes to the Patriot Act; he called it a hastily written piece of shoddy legislature during his campaign and promised to see that it was changed to restore civil liberties and rights…doesn’t look so “shoddy” from the oval office now, does it.

Barack has been on a rampage, it seems, to make every bad decision he can and this is no different. He flat-out broke a promise, extending three specific portions of the Patriot Act set to expire at the end of this year, but worst of all he tried to sneak it in under the radar attached to the Pentagon bill which was mostly about spending issues. The genius of this was that 95% of the items voted on were on finances, from military budget, federal debt ceiling increase (if it’s a ceiling, why can we just raise it, we remodel our debt/income house when ever we want, not much of a ‘ceiling’ if you ask me), and a myriad of other items. This is also going on in the quagmire that is health care debate and voting. With all this, the white house issued letters and statements to get this voted on and that they supported an extension.

After this and all his other blunders thus far I have become completely soured on him. First watering down the health care reform, then ridiculous spending, the lack of reform, lack of transparency, the Afghan surge, the Guantanamo Bay BS, now the Patriot Act!? I now understand that Obama really does not care for the civil liberties and the human rights of the American people or those in our custody. It appears he is simply writing another chapter in the “Bush” book, not getting a new book of his own. He has green lit continued wire-tapping, e-mail tapping, and seizing of business records under the Patriot Act. There is also the system of the “sneak-and-peak”, where any agency is allowed to break in to your home, without warrant or notifying you in any way, just to see if they can find evidence to get a legit warrant to prosecute you, and come back with that, and seize all evidence legally.

This is in addition to the suspension of Habeas Corpus for prisoners, which is in effect in America, Guantanamo Bay, as well as military detention bases in ‘war zones’ like in Bar’am. So in addition to not closing Guantanamo Bay, denying rights to trial, prosecution, and legal council, he is now continuing the legislation expanding government power beyond the letter of the law, allowing his administration to continue the rights violating practices that were fear-mongered in to place by Dick Cheney and his administration, I mean the Bush administration. This is the greatest disappointment for me, I was sure the Obama would become a great leader repealing and discontinuing heinous practices as these mentioned, returning America to the level headed, diplomatic nation that it once was. All I can see is continued war and abuse of extended powers like a military junta more than anything else.

You have to understand that these laws were put in place under extensive stress, fear, and panic. The nation as a whole was willing to hear any argument and willing to sacrifice a little now for the greater good on the back end. We gave up civil rights to restore relative safety. What happened was illegal activities and use of laws that was never intended; the “sneak-and-peak” has been used for drug related activities in far more instances than in any terrorist investigation. The abuse was ok then, we needed someone to throw down the gauntlet and go to town for this country, and we had just the redneck to do it. In that time of uncertainty this nation was impressionable and easily swayed, so laws were broken and we were able to accept it as a temporary, necessary invasion in the name of peace and security.

What we have now though is a complete disregard for the lessons we should be learning from those most bloody times. We need to admit that these laws were unconstitutional, hasty, and did not even serve a purpose to the end for which they were designed. As a nation we gave the thumbs-up to the Patriot Act, then, because we knew that a full review and a long drawn out debate would come to pass when the Act’s time was up. This did not occur, no discuss happened, it was a small part of a massive bill that was up for a vote. More time was allotted for the defense budget and estate tax than went to the reinstatement of my God-damned civil liberties. As far back as November of 2008, people like Adam Cohen of the NYTimes was writing that many were feeling that Obama could hear and weigh the arguments of those that see him as a chance to end this Act and take governmental power back to a pre-9/11 status. Barack Obama would be a voice of reason, as he said he would be during his campaign, and pull back the reigns of a government run amok, restoring this country to a time of innocence, before our vulnerability was so savagely revealed to us.

Still, today our prisoners with suspected ties to terrorism don’t get their rights, none at all in a war zone prison; we can still put prisoners under rendition, the practice of changing custody of one of our prisoners to a foreign country with more lax standards of human rights in order to extract what we want; we can wire tap; read your e-mail; break in to your home or business LOOKING for cause to come back with a legal warrant, and all this in the greatest country in the world!? The proletariate, you, should be up in arms over the laws of a savage time continuing in to this presidency one more day than they set to last for. An abuse of power like this is something we would embargo Cuba for, threaten Iran for, speak strongly against N. Korea for, and yet you and I are the victims here with no one to speak for us except condescending senators and representatives.

The fear we live in and the concerns of the American people have changed. We have now allowed our foreign policy to determine domestic issues; this is the way to ruin and a state of martial law now continues on our soil despite having the eyes for 20/20 hindsight. You must realize that your stripped away civil liberties will continue on simply for political gain. Same as with the increased debt ceiling and dropped public option, the Patriot Act was extended so the republican party had less cannon fodder for the 2010 mid-term elections. These crucial policy decisions were made not for what was best for the American people, but what was best for the democratic power structure. Time and time again this country, the people that make it more than just real estate between Mexico and Canada, has been dropped by the wayside for the good of political power and industry. The trickle down effect works in reverse when it comes to policy, we at the bottom of the pile get pissed on first.

The gavel was replaced with a gun eight years ago. Justice was found on the business end of an M-16, and we were fine with justifying the means to the end through the red filter of rage. America was willing to set aside the Constitution and the Bill of Rights as well as grant the President powers far beyond those set forth by the checks and balances our founding fathers created, or those approved of by the U.N. From 2001 to 2004 we were willing to believe anything and from 2004 until 2008 we were powerless to stop the monster we had created in our post-9/11 Frankenstein phase as we watched it tear countries asunder, including our own. With Obama we were to get all of the benefits of living in the greatest country on earth, from the bottom up. He stood as a beacon of hope for change; not to something new, but to something old, from a time before we lost our innocence in Manhattan and became afraid of our own shadows and those that operated in them. For me the last of those dreams, the constitutional rights of 2000, has died, leaving me no longer hopeful, but weary, of Obama’s last three years in office. You are my Buckner, Barack Obama, you made the list.

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