Look at This F-ing Guy #45

Who owns hemp anything

We get it, you like pot! Hemp clothing is as comfortable as a burlap sack. I’ve never looked at a bag of potatoes and said, “Hmmm, I wanna wear that.” 100% hemp clothing is less comfortable than wearing a St. Bernard. It is stiflingly hot, itchy, and begins to smell after a while.

Have you ever seen a single person in a hemp sweatshirt that didn’t look as uncomfortable as shit? They look like they’re sweating like a rapist, and for as often as the hemp-clad population showers, I would think you’d want to avoid stinking up that sweatshirt as much as possible.

Hemp is not a good source for anything. Rope? Oh, I can make rope out of it? Guess what? We can make rope out of all sorts of materials, and they work a hell of a lot better than hemp. What else ya got? Oh, it’s an affordable material for clothing? Yeah, so is cotton, and polyester, too. A good cotton blend feels great! If anyone uses hemp in comfortable clothes they blend it with…guess what? Yeah, fucking cotton. And black people don’t pick cotton anymore, so don’t talk to me about the injustice of cotton over hemp.

You just want hemp as a source of material since it’s natural byproduct is copious amounts of weed. If they want to legalize production of hemp for the purposes of soap, jewelry, and fucking rope, then the next logical step is legalizing all that sticky, crystallized goodness. Get over it, they are gonna legalize pot. You will get your weed, but the championing of the pros of hemp is not gonna get us any closer to getting pot out of vending machines…that’s already a thing, so don’t worry.

For my personal philosophy I say that you buy cotton, smoke pot, and just be comfortable in what you wear. Hemp does not make good clothing, we already have all the high-tensile strength rope we can handle, and soap is already operating at it’s peak performance. Pick another cash crop and don’t try and convince me that hemp is the future. If we legalized hemp and pot you’d be at a loss anyway. You’d have literally nothing to talk about anymore pot head. So then you’d be uncomfortable in your sweatshirt, annoying as shit, and now boring to boot. Just let it go and get a new wardrobe if you want to work anywhere but a head shop or a swank coffee shop on the bad side of town. Jesus.

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